How to Lessen the Pain of Divorce For Your Children


How to Lessen the Pain of Divorce For Your Children
Help your children feel loved, confident, and strong during a divorce.

If you have children and are considering divorce or separation, chances are your children are already afraid and confused about their future. Even if you think you've concealed the problem, and/or you are trying to stay in the relationship because you don't want to disrupt their worlds, don't kid yourself. Your children see and sense what has been happening. And it can be absolutely terrifying to them. 

At SAS~Support and Solutions for Women, we recognize you may not be able to control a lot of things right now. But as we tell our clients, you can make this process and its effects less painful for your children by remembering what they need and by keeping your eye on the goal: to help your children emerge from this process feeling loved, confident, and strong.


If you are able to view the HBO documentary "Don't Divorce Me! Kids Rules for Parents on Divorce," please watch and listen hard. The documentary puts children first and center as the impact of divorce is explored through their eyes.  If you are unable to access the documentary, here are a few pieces of advice children want you to know:

  • "Make sure we know it's not our fault"
  • "Don't say bad things about the other parent"
  • "Be honest with me"
  • "Give us more love than we need"
  • "Try to live close to each other"
  • "Learn to get along for our sake"
  • "Help me say goodbye"

Remember you are the adult. Try to follow these requests for the benefit of your children and don't be afraid to recognize when you break the rules. 

Co-Founder and Director of SAS~Support and Solutions for Women™, Liza Caldwell is the mother to two daughters. She was divorced after 17 years of marriage. If you are interested in learning how we might help you prioritize your goals and support the healthy development of your children, visit us at today.

More divorce coach advice from YourTango


This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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SAS For Women

Divorce Coach

SAS for Women

Kimberly Mishkin and Liza Caldwell

Co-Founders and Directors

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: CPC, MA, Other
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