“Hi Babe, I just wanted to check up and say hi. Call me back when you get a chance.”
“Hi, it’s me again. You haven’t called me and I don’t know where you are. Can you call me back?”
“OK, it’s been two hours, you obviously don’t care enough to call back, so FORGET IT. HAVE A NICE LIFE.”
Men and women are both guilty of blowing seemingly innocuous things out of proportion. Feeling yourself getting worked up on a regular basis? Take the following steps to put things in perspective before you lose your cool (or your partner!)
1. Pause a minute and put your phone down.
Take a deep breath and hold it for ten seconds, and then breathe out for ten seconds. When you feel calmer, put your phone away or let your friend hold it if you don’t trust yourself. You can’t nag if you don’t have access to your phone.
2. Engage in a fun activity.
Distraction can be a great way to de-escalate your negative thoughts. Instead of focusing on what you can’t control, spend time doing something you enjoy independently of your partner: calling a friend, going out for coffee, watching YouTube videos, etc. When you calm down, you may find yourself thinking more rationally about the situation.
3. Manage Your Expectations
In a perfect world, our partners would always answer our calls, know what we need to hear when we need to hear it, and make us feel loved and appreciated 24/7. The good news is, it’s OK that our relationships aren’t perfect. When we need something from our significant others, we push ourselves as individuals to speak up and learn how to respectfully ask for what we want. Your partner isn’t perfect, and neither are you, so give him/her the benefit of the doubt.