With the popularity of online dating, you have so many more potential matches to choose from than ever before. Your true love might live on the other side of the planet. Should you contact that hottie from New Zealand? You might have an amazing connection, but do long distance relationships really work?
While it's easier and more organic to date someone who lives closeby, your true match may not live around the corner.
I think it's important to be open to how you might find the love of your life. To increase your chances of finding love, you may need to broaden your geographic parameters.
Okay, let's say you've opened up your search preferences and you found a long distance love who makes your heart go pitter patter. How can you build a strong relationship when you live so far away?
Keys to building and maintaining a successful long distance relationship:
a) Video Calls. Make sure you connect frequently via text, email, phone, and especially Skype, Facetime or Google Hangouts. Schedule video chat dates. Get dressed up, bring a glass of vino, and act as if you're on a date. This will help the intimacy stay alive between visits.
b) Both parties make the effort to see each other as often as possible. I mean both. It's not enough if only one of you travels. You need to both be in it to make it work. Can't afford to travel often? Get creative. Frequent flyer miles. Hitch a ride with a friend. Take the bus.
Long-distance relationships can be challenging, but they can definitely work. Many people end up marrying someone with whom they've had a long distance relationship.
I know a couple who continued to have a long-distance relationship even after they got married. Their job situation required that they be in two different states several days a week, reuniting for four-day weekends. Sometimes the distance leads to an even better relationship. Absence can make the heart grow fonder and more passionate.
5 new apps to keep couples connected:
1. Between: For iPhone or Droid, this FREE app is great for couples who want to create private albums, IM each other, or create message boards for their notes.
2. Icebreak For Couples: This FREE app is for iPhone only, and it allows couples to send sexy "icebreaker" messages to each other to keep the relationship sizzling. You can guage how healthy your relationship is via your "relationship score", and can earn "date night coins".
4. Fix A Fight: This iPhone app costs $4.99 and helps couples learn to communicate better and stay close even when arguing.
5. Avocado: This FREE app for iPhone and Droid s a great way to stay connected with your long distance love through chats, lists, calendars, sketches, photos, and more.
Martha's Long Distance Love Story
My client "Martha" (not her real name) fell in love with a guy she met online who lived in Australia. They had frequent Skype dates. After spending a week with him in Australia, she saw the darker parts of his character that could only be revealed with extended in-person time. She broke up with him after that visit. So, be sure that you visit your long distance lover as often as you can. Spending time together is crucial to understanding a person's true character.
Is a long distance relationship worth the hassle?
If you truly feel a strong connection, I say go for it! Even if it doesn’t end in a long-term relationship, it’s worth the effort. Better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all.
I want you to find love this year! Why not set up a complimentary 15-minute consult with me to see what dating coaching programs would be best for you.
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