I was telling myself things like, "I'm too busy ... I'll call them later." Even writing those words seem cold to me. But I really believed them ... in a way.
How many of us take for granted that tomorrow will come and that a particular person will always be in our lives? How many of us walk around punishing ourselves, asking, "What if I'd just said what I always wanted to say? Did he know how much I loved him? Why didn't I tell her every day?"
What is stopping those of us who are not saying "I love you" from doing so? What's in the way? What's stopping us from saying things like, "I really appreciate that you're in my life." "You mean the world to me." "When I'm with you, I'm always smiling." "I love you." I can honestly say I don't have an answer for myself. This embarrasses me quite a bit.
I'm recommitting to that promise I made a few years ago. I will make those calls that I used to make. I will write those emails I used to send. I invite anyone who reads this to do the same. We don't even have to say very much. Who doesn't like to hear how much they're loved and how special they are? Let's bestow that gift upon those we love.
As I write this, I pick up the phone and dial my 95-year-old grandfather. He is very hard of hearing. I struggle through a conversation with him, practically shouting to get my point across, even if that point is just, "I'm fine, thanks. How are you?" The important thing is, the part I wanted him to hear, he did. It was simple. He heard, "I love you" and with that, I knew his day was made.
For those of you in my life and to those of you I have recently lost: I cherish you. I adore you. I admire you. I thank you for all your love and support. When I fall, you pick me up. When I want to laugh, you are right there with me, cracking some silly joke. It is because of all of you that I am the woman I am today. I appreciate you every day, even on the days I don't tell you.
But today, I'm just going to tell you right out loud: I love you.