We all know that when our primary relationship is distressed, we feel anxious and depressed. We also know that depression can have a devastating effect on an intimate relationship. It becomes a vicious cycle. There have been numerous studies documenting this fact. Relationships with a depressed partner are often characterized by negative communication, blame, withdrawal, irritability, loss of motivation, and loss of sexual interest. It has also been shown that there is a reduction in positive behavior such as eye contact, smiling, and the ability to enjoy pleasurable activities together.
Neuroscience has proven we are wired to connect. It is built into our DNA and our brains. Science, as well as my 30 years of being a therapist, tells me that everyone wants and needs to love and be loved. Everyone wants to have a deep, close, secure connection. Unfortunately, many couples struggle with the repetitive patterns that create a sense of not feeling safe and secure with the one they love most. The good news is that even in the face of life’s biggest challenges – depression, poor health, disability, or financial distress, couples can learn to reach beyond the habitual patterns that get them stuck in feeling anxious, depressed, disconnected, disrespected and unloved. Emotionally Focused Therapy is a scientifically tested way of helping couples get there.
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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Depression – The facts
Two landmark randomized clinical studies utilized Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in the treatment of couples where one partner was diagnosed with major depression. Both studies demonstrated that when the relationship can transform into one that feels safe, secure and connected, the symptoms of depression are significantly reduced.
Characteristics of a healthy, secure relationship – It’s all about the attachment.
The science of adult love enables us to understand the major ingredients to creating and maintaining a loving, respectful, and deep connection through the lifespan and in the face of life’s deepest challenges. These ingredients are: