Are You A Mother To Your Boyfriend?

Love, Heartbreak

Most women say "You never know with these men. They all want to cheat."

There are so many women on this planet who would like to have kids. Some of them would like to give birth to their kids and some of them likes when somebody second gives birth to their children. No, I'm not thinking of surrogate mothers, I'm thinking of their (future) mother-in-law. That's right.

I've seen this so many times. Many women try to raise their boyfriend and husband. They don't realize that saying "Don't do this, do that. Or take this, don't take that" makes them sound like a single mom. And become more suspicious by chasing them and checking what they do. If men are with their friends they are constantly calling them, checking what they're doing and asking them questions about other women. They are chasing their men and always trying to correct their mistakes based on what they think are mistakes. They want to be a man's whole life and they try to be in it all the time. What lies behind this is huge women's insecurity. Subconsciously, they don't think that they are good enough or think they don't deserve men's attention and despite the fact that they actually have their partner, they desperately want to keep him by their side so they start to chase their partners.

I met one woman who started talking about her boyfriend shorty after we met. She had passwords of all social networks and emails of her boyfriend. I thought that this was normal in her case. She was living with her boyfriend and they were in a long-term relationship so, if you share one computer and don't need to hide anything, what's wrong with that? But in her case this was more than normal. It was really crazy. She was constantly going to the Facebook profile of her boyfriend. She has her profile but if she needed something on Facebook she would login on her boyfriend's account. I asked her why is she doing this and she said to me "You never know with these men. They all want to cheat." She was talking about how you can't trust men because all men want to have affairs and that you should always keep an eye on your boyfriend. She gave me an example of her friend who told her that her boyfriend would never cheat on her but after she gave her advice on how to check the history of someone's correspondence she found out that her boyfriend was chatting with his ex.

Okay so, you have an unfaithful boyfriend and you caught him. That's great, he didn't make a fool of you, but what the hell you would do with someone you don't trust? Or someone who will cheat on you?

I didn't ask her that question. I'm very sensible for others feelings. She was a great girl. I was very impressed with her when I've met her, but this relationship issue would kill her inside. Another interesting thing she said was that her boyfriend told her he would not cheat on her because he is shy and he wouldn't know how to do it but, if he had an opportunity to do it like maybe if some girl approached him, then he would do it. So she started constantly chasing him and checking if he would cheat on her. Looking from this point of view, was this her problem or his?

I mean, can you really live knowing that your man would cheat you?

Unfortunately, many women do. There are long term marriages where one partner behaves like a child (man) and other partner behaves like a supervisor, checking to see if her child behaves well. And yes, the most time these are women. Why do women take this role to try and manage their men? Could a woman's insecurity be the main reason they do it? On the other side, when women behave this way men try to run like a wounded pray and start to do things that are forbidden to them. They would say, "I can't hang out with my friends and drink? When I will get an opportunity I would be so drunk that I wouldn't stand on my feet!" That's what happens. If you forbid somebody to do something then he would do it. Just like the case with white elephants. Don't think of white elephants. Don't think of them! But you do...

Men are not children. If they behave like this it's their problem; you can't raise them. It was his mother's job to do this. If you want to raise a child then get one yourself. One of the golden rule is that men change, but you can't change them. Remember that.

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