You've Been Transferred: Making Friends in Your New City


You've Been Transferred: Making Friends in Your New City
I don't even care about my love life right now- I need friends! How do I make friends post-college?

Most importantly, save their information in a safe place. If a business card was the mode of exchange, transfer the info to your phone or email instantly. It would be a shame if a friendship ended up in the garbage can before it even began.

Then, don’t be afraid to reach out to them. After all, someone has to make the first move – and unlike dating, there is no rigmarole as to who that should be based on gender.


Also call, don’t text. Calling equals caring. Because texting and emailing have become so ubiquitous, when you actually pick up the phone to call someone, it indicates to them that you genuinely care about speaking to them- and that they are not just another number included in a mass text! Also, calling will give you the opportunity to connect with someone whom you may have met briefly on a much deeper level than would exchanging a few words on a blackberry. You will have the opportunity to get to know one another by laughing together and relating stories to one another. Consider this your foundation for a great bonding experience when you do finally hang out in-person.

Connect with your friends’ friends

As the world decreases in size, many people have friends in other cities. Talk to your friends from home and see if they have any friends in your new location with whom you might get along. Referrals facilitate a trusting environment, and chances are if someone is friends with your friend, that you will like them too.

Consider Roommates

Although living alone may be tempting, roommates can also be instant friends. you will both get to enhance your social circle twofold, by becoming friends with the others friends Websites such as and can help connect you with compatible roommates. These sites match based on personality type and lifestyle preference, so the chances that you will get along well, not just as roommates, but as friends, are good!

If even the idea of living with others is intolerable to you, consider living in a social apartment complex- one where people your age reside that has a main gathering area for socializing, such as a pool or a clubhouse. This solution may present the best of both worlds.

Join a community

Whether it is an acting studio, a synagogue, a community service organization, or a gym, becoming a member of a group-based organization gives you access to an instant community. Those who are a part of the community will be inclined to reach out to you because they understand that you have something in common with them, and because the more integrated a community is, the more cohesive.


Making new friends will be impossible if you consistently go to work, come home, watch TiVo, and then head to bed. Put yourself out there– even if you’re tired from work. There are endless events that don’t require invites– art openings, fundraisers, wine tastings, history walks, etc. And some of them even will even provide food and drink!

Sites like Thrillist, Guest of a Guest, NYMag, and Grubstreet can keep you posted on events in your city.

Places to Make New Friends

Religious groups, church/synagogue
Continuing Education classes
Community Service
Non-Profit groups
Meet-up groups,
City specific social networks, (NYC- • Singles Events
Alumni events
Intramural leagues ( • Music groups
Dance classes

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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