Strategic Dating Advice: ProActive Dating is IN
By Samantha Karlin. Posted on .
It’s multitasking at its best. You can literally be in a dozen places at once. I think of online dating as passive marketing. You put up a photo and some info, and you can be on the beach in Cabo and come back to five messages (one of which was sent while a guy was getting your number on the beach). Oh, and two messages received on another site. How much better does it get?
Gender preference is clear.
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For gays and lesbians, online dating is awesome because you know that everyone you are looking at is actually interested in your gender! Particularly for more feminine lesbians, it can be difficult to know who is gay and who isn’t when you’re out- therefore meeting a partner in online is magnanimously less awkward/easier than it is out in public.
It’s cheap.
Online dating is a true bang for your buck. If it is a site that costs money, think of it as an investment- and one that pays off rather quickly. One nice dinner and you’re already ahead of the game. Ten nice dinners later? You’re at ten times what you put in.
Note: Your profile MATTERS. When I say “passive marketing,” remember that you are the product! Spend time and effort on your profile and photos, and be sure to get second opinions and/or professional help.
Note 2: Different dating sites work better for different people. Stay tuned for next week’s article, “A Definitive Guide to Dating Sites,” to see which is best for you.
3) Socialize!
Schedule at least one event into your calendar per week where you know you’ll meet likeminded people (who you don’t already know). Benefits, parties for specific interest groups, a community service afternoon: all are great places- and environments- to meet new people.
Note: Think about what really interests you- and think about the person you’re looking for- if they were looking at the same options, which activity/event would they choose? Also, refrain from going to the event and only talking to the people you know. Comfortable, but not doing anything for your dating life.
4) AAA
Number four appreciates that a great guy for you could appear anywhere, anytime, anyplace. No, not at Alcoholics Anonymous, sorry. But in order to turn an appearance into a date, you must:
A) Be open to it.
Stay off your cellphone. Make eye contact with hot strangers. If they make eye contact back with you, be bold, stop them, and say, you dropped something, and give them your card. Walk confidently with your shoulders back and head up, letting a small smile play on your face. Men will be drawn to you.
B) Look for windows of opportunity.
A chance to strike up a conversation- or to lay the groundwork for him to strike up a conversation with you- literally might last twenty seconds. So you have to act fast, before the moment- and the guy- are gone forever.
C) Be prepared.
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A friend once said to me: You should always look good, because you never know who you are going to meet. She now owns a lipgloss line selling in Bergdorf’s, which makes a lot of sense.
