Character: A teacher yells at his student one day, and calls him a piece of dirt. The next day he apologizes. However the next day, it happens again with a different student. And then over and over again, for months and months. This type of repeat behavior cannot be attributed to mere circumstance. So keep your eye out for repetition- once, understandable, twice, excusable, three times, he is out like teevo sandals.
Situational: A typically sweet teacher yells at a student one day- we find out later the teacher’s mother died. Does that mean the teacher is a rude and insensitive person because she acted that way ? No- because it was completely out of the ordinary. It is part of the small primal piece of her crying in anguish that all of us possess.
It is when a teacher yells at a student every day that we start to smell a rat. It is quite possible that the teacher may allude to situational circumstances every single time, but when that behavior becomes the rule and not the exception, that we can ascertain that the teacher’s behavior has to do with his innate character.
Also beware of guys who are simply undateable, regardless. These guys exhibit any of the following characteristics: Rude, insensitive, chauvinistic, demeaning, impatient, mean, nasty, closed- off, judgmental, racist, defensive, untrustworthy.
These are all qualities that even if they don’t led to disaster upfront, will eventually send the relationship down the drain- and leave you feeling as though you were the one at fault.
And so the idealistic of us need to be able to recognize when to pull the plug on a new guy or gal. We need to not make excuses for the new guy in our life when he forgets to call- three times. When he makes a racist joke- twice. When he demeans or degrades us over and over again. When we feel strongly for someone it is sometimes easy to miss those red flags- but should those exist, you could be doomed.
Other warning signs:
Pay attention to the stories he tells about his life- did he cheat on his ex, and that’s why they broke up? Chances are same will happen to you. Does he have a child floating around out of wedlock that he never sees? Chances are this will happen if he has a child with you as well. Does he have massive credit card debt he can’t overcome? You’re footin the bill, missy. This also shows that not only can he not take care of himself and his responsibilities, he will certainly not be able to take care of someone else.
By listening to what he talks about with your head in full evaluation mode, you will be able to get a sense of who he is- and also whether or not he will be compatible with you.
Does he talk about how his shirts need to be folded just right, yet you haven’t used an iron since an interview two years ago?
Does he talk about how he’s so over the going out scene…and you are still loving drunkenly roaming around the meatpacking district at 4 am?
Does he complain about how he hasn’t been to the last seven family holidays- including his sister’s wedding- due to work?
You better be ready to take the backseat to his career also.