25 Rules for Spring Cleaning your Mandrobe
(Some of these may seem obvious, but I’ve heard girls make excuses for every single rule on this list)
1) His last name is still listed as the name of a bar, a venue, or an online dating site (or his name is listed as Santa Claus, or Led Zeppelin Avenue A, or something similarly ridiculous).
2) You have no idea who the person is.
3) You have more than three of that name in your phonebook. Have six Mike’s? Get rid of four.
4) He canceled on you at the last minute, via text, without renegotiating for another time and date.
5) He only contacts you after 11 pm.
6) He never actually sets a time for a date.
7) You heard that he’s also been hitting on one of your friends.
8) You’re pretty sure he moved overseas.
9) When you call him, he texts you back- and doesn’t call after work.
10) He has sent you ANY dirty pictures.
11) He has sexted you. (Eeww. This does NOT turn girls on).
12) He lives more than 25 miles away from you in a place you know you’re never going (or going back to).
13) You met him on vacation in Acapulco and haven’t talked to him since.
14) He takes FOREVER to respond to a text. I’m talking two days. Give me a break.
15) You haven’t talked to him since college (or high school).
16) Everytime you see his name in your phone book you get angry or want to throw up.
17) He only makes plans with you at the last minute.
18) Whenever you hang out, he insists that you come to him.
19) He has argued with you- EVER- about using a condom.
20) He has EVER called you clingy, needy, or crazy.
21) He has EVER said anything to you mean or condescending.
22) He didn’t show up to your birthday party and gave some lame excuse (if any at all).
23) He drinks to the point where he is throwing chairs, getting in fights, or getting kicked out of bars.
24) You really have ZERO interest in being his friend.
25) He has a girlfriend, is engaged, or married.
Bonus Rule: This last one is on behalf of my fifteen year-old sister and her first puppy love- who turned out to be not so lovely. You have ever heard him say “Feelings are gay.”
So get out of here, and get cleaning. And when you hear yourself starting to make an excuse for him, stop and remember: zero tolerance! You’re too good to put up with BS.