By Schantell Wharton — Written on Mar 16, 2016
I remember in college my feisty business finance professor came to class one day and announced to the girls in the class- I can tell you the best way to keep a man or your husband happy. Of course you could hear light laughter in the room. Then he said these are the three things you need to know—1. Keep his house clean, 2. Learn to cook him good food and 3rd Give as much sex as he need. I thought to myself those are just the basics. What about day to day living and interacting? They say every bad relationship you go through has a blessing and a lesson.
There are so many conflicts and quarrels that would have been averted had one of the party or someone who was trying to resolve the issue interject with amusing remarks that would cause the parties to laugh at one point or the other. Laughter helps in diffusing tension. It relieves stress, elevates mood, enhances creativity, and can make an individual recover fast. ‘Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.’ — Mark Twain. Laughter is a powerful way to strengthen any relationship, be it workplace relationships, romantic relationships, parent - children relationships or relationship between friends.
Stress can make an individual tense or even angry. However, a good sense of humor by a partner or colleague can help destress or remove the tension. In strengthening romantic relationships, both the man and woman have to learn to use laughter to help each other out of stress. When a partner is stressed, the other partner should carefully make funny jokes and remarks that would make the tense partner to laugh, and then destress. According to Madeleine L’Engle, ‘A good laugh heals a lot of hurts.’
A Jewish proverb says ‘As soap is to the body, so laughter is to the soul.’ Laughter can also help couples strengthen their relationships by making sure their relationships are always exciting, fresh, and vibrant. Homes where there are frequent quarrels and tensions would always be gloomy. Like the popular saying that ‘laughter is the best medicine,’ homes where there is no laughter or there is always quarrels, sicknesses and mishaps would always thrive there.
Laughter helps bond couples, friends and colleagues. Homes, offices or relationships where the parties always laugh, the bond between them would be great. A boss would bond well with his subordinates and achieve great results when he allows or uses laughter to spur his workers. There would be creativity, healthy competitions and enthusiasm to achieve set goals among the workers.
Another way laughter can strengthen your relationship is that as you laugh often, it will create a sense of intimacy and connection between you and your partner. Communication between you and your partner would be greatly enhanced. Even between parent and children, tension can stiffen their relationships. However, parents who have good sense of humor and can laugh with their children would bond very well. ‘Happy parents, happy children.’ How true! As a parent, laughter helps you penetrate your children; bring them closer to you and create a happy family.
Laughter is contagious and it attracts people to you. When people know you are always happy and that you can always make them laugh, they would always want to be around you. An African proverb says: ‘Everyone love laughter because it is like honey that attracts bees. ’! Because you always laugh and make people happy, you would also become a dispenser of joy, happiness and a source of encouragement to others.
According to Tom Nansbury, ‘An optimist laughs to forget; a pessimist forgets to laugh.’ A happy man is a man that can easily let go or laugh it off. He is not easily affected. Hence he is always calm and receptive towards others especially his partner. He has a positive disposition towards issues, hence he can maintain cordial relationship with others.
I have learned to laugh at myself and to use laughter to my advantage. If I wanted my husband to be more sensitive to my emotional and romantic needs or listen to what I have to say—I had to put him in a receptive mode. Laughter often helps to facilitate a more relaxed and open moment of communications. In his book-“If Only He Knew”—Gary Smalley has a whole chapter dedicated to, “Your wife needs you shoulder not your mouth”
This helps to build the foundation of a better marriage. So many people believe the myth that you get married and live happily ever after. The fail to realize that work is required by both partners.
References:
Smalley, Gary. If Only He Knew—“What No Woman Can Resist
Another great book to read is the companion book--
Smalley, Gary. For better or For Best