Use these planning tips to protect your heart during family/work holiday gatherings.
What is the most stressed part of your body during holiday gatherings?
At first response you may say stomach. As we delve deeper the most active or stressed organs during these gatherings is our heart and mind. That’s why it’s so important to plan with the diligence what we are going to: say, do and feel during these intimate interactions. This gives us power to consciously turn to what our hearts and minds truly desire in a pinch, because today I'm here to help you make a specific meausrable plan of how you want feel and say with ease during the holidays. This will help you be a catalyst for healthy, enjoyable, positive, healing conversations.
Imagine planning a spiritual meal or dietary guidelines of what we are going to give and receive from and for our hearts. Just as it is an effect tool to have a calorie, healthy food chart to help balance food intake, consider the following article as tool to create a effective communication and interaction "meal plan" for nutritious, satisfying, life giving and health enhancing conversations.
Here’s how to plan:
“Heart Connections During The Holidays - What to Say, Feel and Love”
The following may help you save on stress and therapy and experience more of the love of your family and co-workers you desire.
As upcoming holiday events approach, anxiety and tension may rises with the stress of bringing biological or work family members together.
Old wounds have a way of surfacing and the tendency is to slip back into old family dynamics playing the roles assigned at childhood or in a less than satisfying work environment.
If there has been a loss in the family or a rift in the communication there are specific ways to prepare for conversations that will gently guide you into supportive territory of:
- Mutual respect
- Rekindled interest
that may have been missing from previous encounters.
Where do you begin?
Take stock on what causes the tension and fear being in the room with these challenging people or issues.
Pretend Examples. (Maybe you can relate.)
Tweak them to fit your situation:
-I feel stressed around my sister when she talks about the recent passing of Pop Pop.
-My cousin Carly upset me last time when she criticized my parenting.
-Jamie had the worst choice of inappropriate dates the last few company galas.
-This person pressed my buttons and I reacted in a way that sucked joy out of the room
STEP 1- Identify who or what presses your buttons and what you wish you could avoid at the next gathering.
1) Jot down the person’s name and conversation(s) you dread discussing.
2) Why are you afraid to discuss this?
3) How would you feel if this conversation never was discussed?
5) How would you feel if this person didn’t come to the event?
STEP 2 – Use your imagination and pretend the best-case scenario for you.
6) What would the family/work gathering feel like if everyone got along?
7) Recall the best holiday gathering you attended. Jot down impressions of the laughter, sharing, connections that you fondly remember.
8) What would be the best-case scenario or miracle of this upcoming gathering if you felt the same feelings and shared similar stories?
STEP 3 – Create a new model of success to follow. Use the power of your imagination to focus your attention on your ideal family gathering and work party experience.
9) Now write a Script for Success TM for this event. (This is one tool my clients have used to transform their painful work and family dynamics into a powerful focus of love, mutual respect, acceptance, joy, productivity, profits and laughter. It’s called “Success Headline TM".
Reread what you wrote for question # 8 for you best case scenario at the next holiday gathering. Imagine reading about that miraculous story of everyone having a good time. Imagine your great feelings reading the emotional success of the event in the news or posting highlights of your wonderful gathering on social media the following day.
10) Write down your chosen title of this news story or article as if it was written after a successful event.
Here are some examples: (Enter the contest by posting your Holiday Success Headlines. Here are some examples.)
“Family comes together In Loving Support and Kindness”
“The Reunion Was a Tremendous Heart Opening Success”
"The Holiday Bonus Lightened the Mood and Afforded Heart Warming Generousity"
“Trust and Positive Communication Tasted Great With Dessert”
“Memory of Dad Tickled Our Funny Bones with Hours of Play and Laughter”
“A Glowing Closeness Lingered at Work Long After The Holiday Party”
“Generosity Overflowed As We Helped People Affected By The Storm”
Go ahead and post your Holiday Success Headline below. Please comment on your favorite success headline as well. I’m treating the winner for the most favorable comments on the posted Holiday Success Headline to a $25 gift card at the winner’s favorite store. The winner(s) will be announced in December.
Success Headline are focused prayers that guide the heart and mind to what feels good. Be sure to include positive emotions in your statement so you can recognize those positve moments when they echo your success headline in conversations or precious moments at the party. It's common to get that déjà vu feeling since you already test drove this positive experience in your Success Headline. (Read stories on how people who scripted their success experienced living the desires they planned.)
The key to writing such a Success Headline is to tune in and decide what your ideal feelings and experience would be in avance for the upcoming holiday gatherings and focusing your attention on that.
Clients have reported fabulous family and co-worker transformations when they carried the one sentence Success Headline in their purse or wallet and read it any time they wanted to refocus attention on what felt good. This helped them ignore the distractions that attempted to rob them of their health and happiness.
*We don’t write Success Headlines to fix or change anyone else. It’s designed to focus your attention on what is working and what feels good so you can stay in those positive feelings and conversations and notice that others are mirroring your leading example.
Make a Gratitude List to help Create Your Holiday Success Headlines
If my Scripting for Success clients are challenged by the task of imagining or recalling positive holiday scenes I invite them to make a gratitude list. Sometime it has nothing to do with them as they focus on movies, stories, books of people they’ve observed having their ideal holiday, family work experience.
The Success Headline acts as a meditation to focus the attention on your ideal experience. Carry this statement in your purse or wallet and read it when ever you want to feel good or re-center yourself.
Secret to Creating Your Ideal Success Headline
How do you know you created a great headline that's right for you? The best headlines are the ones that generate warm tingles of energy up and down your body when you read the Success Headline out loud. Read it to a friend and notice their response. Feel free to adopt any of these shared statements for your next group gathering! Double the benefits of doing the above exercises in a group, with a mentor or friend.
And remember to post your success headline below in the comment section for a chance to win a $25 gift card at your favorite store. Be sure to comment on juicy success headlines you want to carry with you this holiday season.