The more accessible and practical a book is, the more it may alter the course of the lives of those who read it. Straight-forward and simple explanations for human behavior are often more useful than those that are multileveled, complicated and unintentionally convoluted. Of course, there are many elements of the human psyche that cannot and should not be reduced or simplified. But why can’t we have a blueprint for the attraction process that everyone can understand? Why make something complicated when it doesn’t have to be? There is no rule that an advanced degree, certification or special training is needed to understand psychological phenomenon. Sometimes difficult situations, such as dysfunctional relationship patterns, can be understood through simple explanations. It is my hope that this book will provide readers with an accessible, practical and clear understanding of dysfunctional relationship patterns.
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The concepts included in this book should have a familiar “ring” to most readers, as they describe a universal human experience. These concepts (explanations) have already helped hundreds of my clients, and thousands of seminar participants – all of whom sought information about destructive dysfunctional relationship patterns. I deeply desire that this book become an essential resource to those individuals who crave emotional freedom from their traumatic and emotionally burdensome pasts, as well as to clinicians who treat these clients.
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This book is written for the courageous and determined souls who, through a healing and transformative psychotherapy process, may be able to finally experience true and healthy love. Perhaps my greatest ambition for the book is that it may inspire readers to extricate themselves from their own destructive relationships, while also motivating them to develop a capacity to find and sustain a healthy and mutually satisfying loving romantic relationship. Some readers may learn that they also have a broken “relationship picker,” which would explain why they consistently participate in unhealthy or dysfunctional long-term relationships. Readers are likely to reach a deeper understanding of the Emotional Manipulation disorders, codependency and the relationship dynamic between the two.
I hope this book instills optimism and a sense of hope into those individuals who are ready to take a courageous leap and commence a deeply personal and emotional journey to find healthy long-term romantic relationships. I know from first-hand experience that this is both possible and well worth the work. Like my psychotherapy clients, I have resolved to stop suffering at the hands of my own unconscious mind. Over the last 15 years, I have dug deep and fought hard to learn about the pervasive forces that kept drawing me into relationships that resulted in self-destruction, emotional pain and suffering. As a result of my unshakable promise to myself to break my own pattern of “magnetic” attraction to emotional manipulators, I would eventually meet my lovely and beautiful wife, Korrel. Freeing myself from what seemed like a relationship curse has made an indescribably positive impact on my life.