The Human Magnet Syndrome (Book Excerpt)

By

The Human Magnet Syndrome (Book Excerpt)
An invisable magnetic attraction force compels us to repeat a pattern of dysfunctional relationships

The Human Magnet Syndrome / The Introduction to the Book

About 30 years ago, my dad joked (or so I thought was a joke): “The soul mate of your dreams is gonna become the cellmate of your nightmares.”  It takes some of us decades to realize that our parents were actually a lot smarter than we gave them credit for.  What I thought was just a flippant and cynical comment would later help to define my understanding of dysfunctional romantic relationships.  I would never have guessed that my dad’s off-the-cuff remark would contain so much psychological merit.  Perhaps he understood that the initial wondrous feelings of joy and euphoria could transform into something more insidiously harmful and the sweetheart of our dreams might end up as a “ball and chain” locked around our ankle for the rest of our lives.


For those of us raised by psychologically healthy parents, the wondrous ‘love at first sight’ story might have actually happened to you.  If so, you would be one of those fortunate individuals who, for the rest of your life, could boast about your remarkable love at first sight moment and how perfect it was and has been.  However, if you were raised by abusive or neglectful parents, it is likely that you experienced the blissful love at first sight experience, but it was likely short-lived and highly disappointing. 

 

Predictably but not surprisingly, the “perfect” lover will transform into someone that may be unrecognizable.  Within a few months, perhaps even weeks, their attractive alluring traits will be replaced by a selfish and self-centered demeanor, which will take center stage in the new relationship and you will feel powerless to stop him or her.
A person, whose parents deprived them of unconditional love during their childhood, especially the first five to six years, will likely be drawn to a narcissistic romantic partner by a magnet-like force from which it will seem impossible to break free.  This magnetic force, or the Human Magnet Syndrome, has the raw power to bring codependents and narcissists together in a perfect storm of love and dysfunction.  The magnetic power of this dysfunctional love will keep these seemingly opposite lovers together despite their shared misery and eager hopes of changing each other.  The dream of perfect and everlasting love will sadly never come to fruition.  The soul mate dream will inevitably morph into the cellmate reality.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ross Rosenberg

Counselor/Therapist

Ross Rosenberg, LCPC, CADC, CSAT Candidate
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Human Magnet Syndrome Author
Advanced Clinical Trainers Co-Owner

 

Arlington Heights, IL  60004
(847) 749-0514 ext. 12

 

Ross is the author of the book

"The Human Magnet Syndrome:  Why We Love People that Hurt Us."

Ross Leads the Training: Emotional Manipulators,

Codependents and Dysfunctional Relationships

Buy the Book or The Training!          Click Here for an Excerpt

 

Location: Arlington Heights, IL
Credentials: CADC, CSAT, LCPC
Other Articles/News by Ross Rosenberg:

The Co-Occurrence Of Sex Addiction And Codependency

By

In my 27 years working with addicts and codependents, I rarely have come across a completely healthy partner of an addict, who did not carry some responsibility for the state of their relationship. Although the partners of the addict are unequivocally not to blame for the addiction, and most certainly the consequences of it, they certainly carry responsibility ... Read more

Love Addiction, Codependency and Internet Dating

By

For the love addict and codependent, Internet dating sites are the crack cocaine of romantic exploration. Although the love addict consciously wants true and everlasting love, they are drawn to the exhilarating rush of new love like a moth is drawn to a flame. Their dream of being forever in love with a fated soulmate is inexplicably foiled by reasons that ... Read more

Shame Excavation: Unearthing Toxic Shame

By

"Like moss, shames grows in the dark. Vanquish it by bringing it into the light." Shame is inexorably tied to the question that many of us will eventually ask ourselves: "Are we a human doing or a human being?" In other words, is our value and appreciation for and about ourselves determined by what we do (and how it impacts others) or by just who we are? ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular