No matter what your history or your current relationship with your mother is like, you are you. If you don't feel like you're completely in charge of who you are, that's a big clue that there's a pretty good chance you've got Mom hanging out in your head. If you feel like a great deal of your present is controlled by your mom's expectations, criticisms, or dysfunction, you may want to do some change work.
If you find yourself basing your current choices on whether or not it is anything like how your mother behaves, that's a pretty big message that you need to reclaim your mind. How can you kick Mom out of your head and reclaim your mind? Here are a few pointers that will help you get started on this marvelous journey. How To Get Along With His Mom [VIDEO]
More from YourTango: Hope for Parents Abused as Children
The reward is great — freedom to make your own choices, uncontrolled by your mom. Even if you have a good relationship with your mother now, or can't recall anything in the past that would qualify as overtly abusive, it can only help you be a more complete and emotionally healthy person to follow these simple steps.
1. Pay attention to those mom messages you hear from inside your head. Write them down. They're only powerful when they're operating in secret.
3. If your real life relationship with your mother is one of conflict, make a decision to begin working on that relationship. Your relationship with your mother has shaped a great part of who you have become, and will continue to control you unless you do some work to learn a better way.
4. Build relationship with some emotionally healthy and available women that you can share honestly with. Part of the power of mentorship is that you'll have the opportunity to practice reclaiming your mind as you expose the mom messages in your head, and then let them go.
Recently I asked on Twitter if I was the only one who sometimes "heard" mom from inside my head. As I'm sure you can image, the response was overwhelming. You're in good company when you admit you've been "renting out head-space to mom!" The great news is that once you do the healing work, you can absolutely and completely reclaim your life. After all, you are you! HOPE Is Going Mobile!
For a more specific guide on the steps you need to take to heal from an abusive past and take back your life, pick up my new book, A Bigger Band-Aid: hope for parents abused as children.
What are some of the mom messages you've been hearing lately? How have you let some of those internalized mom messages go and reclaimed control of your life?
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