Father's Day can be a tough time for single moms, especially for moms with sons. It is the one day every year guaranteed to remind you that you are raising your son alone and that your son either does not have a dad, or does not have a dad in the capacity you might have wished. The Divorced Parent Telesummit
With more than ten million single moms in the United States, evidence is mounting that their children may not have any more problems than those raised in a two-parent family. This is great news for single parents worried about their inability to "be everything" for their kids. But no amount of statistics will help a single mom know how to best raise her son so he will grow into a kind, gentle and involved father. This is one of the greatest concerns reported by single parents, made more urgent by the tragedies of children raised without a father or with one who is present but unkind, inconsistent or worse. 4 Tips To Silence The Mom In Your Head
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If you are a single mom to a son, you know the struggle to help mold your boy into an adult who will be a great dad. There are a few things you might be doing that could be making your job much harder. Fixing them can make all the difference as your son moves ever closer to the day some little person will call him "daddy."
For example, how many times have you excused your son's aggressive behavior by saying, "He is just a boy, this is normal". Do you do your son's laundry or excuse him from household chores like cleaning his room and doing dishes, and instead ask him to focus on "typical boy stuff" like mowing the lawn or changing the oil in your car?
When was the last time you had an intentional conversation with your son about the qualities that make a great father? Do you know and talk about what it takes to be a great dad, or do you simply talk about ways in which your son's dad is not very good at it?
I realize I am stepping into a tough subject by talking about how single moms can raise their sons to be great dads. My intention is not to step on anyone's toes. After all, there are more than 20 million children who are being raised in single parent families. Your son will not magically grow into a compassionate, involved, and committed father by listenting to you talk about the failures of his own. He will never understand what real commitment to family means unless you show him and talk about it. So what will it take for you to raise your son to be a great dad?
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After raising my own sons and working with hundreds of other single moms, I have come up with a few suggestions that can guide you in building the foundation your son needs to be a great father. Does this guarantee that your son will never mess up, never disappoint his own child or never make parenting mistakes? Absolutely not. However, it takes the process of becoming a dad out of the realm of accidental and makes it intentional.
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