I was completely horrified as I heard the sound of my mother's voice coming from my mouth. Words I swore I would never say to my children came pouring out, and I could not stop. All those dreams I had of creating a better life for my kids than the one I grew up with disappeared, to be replace with a sense of rage and futility. Why was my present parenting being controlled by my abusive history? I felt victimized all over again, and determined to find a solution.
If you're a parent who experienced any form of abuse during your childhood, the sad fact is that you are guaranteed to repeat the parenting you received, unless you work to break that cycle. Child abuse is passed down from generation to generation because each parent believes with their whole heart that this time they will treat their precious child with love and respect. Yet in an almost Twilight-Zone-esque sort of way, the past reaches out and dictates the present.
Are you horrified at hearing your mom’s (or dad’s) voice coming out of your mouth?
Finding yourself getting frustrated with your kids and not understanding why your reaction seems to be over-the-top compared to their behavior?
Wonder how other parents seem to know what to do while you’re constantly floundering?
If you’re a parent who was abused as a child, these statements may describe you.
Parenting is tough under the best of circumstances. But when the modeling you received was dysfunctional, you’re behind before you begin.