He smolders and stares but won't approach. What's a girl to do?
This is a situation every woman has experienced at some point in her dating life. You are chatting with your friends in a club, and notice that a Mr. Darcy is staring at you — obviously, and seemingly with intent. You send your chums off to the powder room, and there you sit alone. Yet he never approaches or pursues. You wonder, "Did I do something wrong?" The next time you find yourself in this scenario, tick through this mental checklist and see what happens.
- Create A Sense Of Urgency: The only way to tell if a man has an honest case of approach anxiety is to activate his chase instinct. So pick up your purse and go. Walk to the ladies' room or outside to make a call or walk around the block; just make sure you are moving away from him, not closer. If he is available and interested he will get the message that it's time to make his move.
- Perhaps Your Styles Are Not In Sync: He may be following a PUA dating philosophy, and his hope is that you will make the initial approach. Or maybe he's just a feminine energy kind of guy who prefers to leave the driving to you. Either way, since your chi is incompatible, this situation is a stalemate. Next!
- You Might Just Be His Candy Crush: Remember that many men pass the time by checking out attractive women. He may have a girlfriend or otherwise be unavailable, and you are just a bit of eye candy. Don't read too much into a man's apparent interest, and don't initiate an entanglement that was never meant to be.
- Consider Switching Up The Venue: If attracting looky-loos is a pattern for you, it may be time to rethink where you hang out. It's a lot easier for a nice guy to approach you while you're at a fun run, charity dog walk, or some other group outing that facilitates interaction. Mix up your activities and you may attract a man with a plan.
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This article was originally published at New Direction Dating. Reprinted with permission from the author.