Goodbye, DOMA: Why Gay Marriage Really Scares You

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DOMA: Gay Marriage
Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's accepted.

Gay marriage is a hot topic and it's getting hotter. Today, we learned that the Supreme Court ruled DOMA (Defense Of Marriage Act), the law barring the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages as legal, as unconstitutional. I'm not here to debate which side of the fence I'm on regarding this. I'm gay, so my stance is pretty obvious.

Instead, I'm here to challenge a different notion. I can't help but wonder whether the fears that heterosexual people have about legalizing gay marriage have less to do with gay couples and more to do with themselves.

God forbid we make it legal for two men to slip into bed together and live happily ever after. And how dare we condone two women pleasuring each other outside the realm of girl-on-girl porn? What will straight men do if they actually find out that there are women who really do dig women and not straight men? What will they do if they find out our dirty little secrets? (Nevermind the fact that we already know way too much about theirs.)

This underlying apprehension that is bubbling beneath the surface every time the subject of gay marriage and gay sex is in the media is getting old. I never invited you into my bedroom, and I don't want to be invited into yours. I don't want to know what Grace and Alfred from Ohio are doing in the master bedroom of their double-wide trailer any more than I want to take a seat front and center in my imagination to consider the limited tweaks to the missionary position Michele and Marcus Bachmann take in their bedroom. The point is, I don't care what you do in your bedroom, and you shouldn't care what I do in mine.  Keep reading...

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Article contributed by

Rick Clemons

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Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, live their passion while loving their work, and live authentically. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

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Location: Riverside, CA
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