How To Talk To Your Gay Teen About Sex


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Self, Family

Time to have the "birds and the birds" talk.

If we as parents wash our hands of educating our children about sex, all types of sex and sexuality, then we relinquish our parental capabilities to have a logical conversation about same-sex sex when Adam brings home Steve at age 15. Quite honestly, nothing about the conversation should change. Teen sex with same-sex teens is still teen sex! While the risk of teen pregnancy might have been removed, your teen still faces the:

  • Emotional rollercoaster that sexual intimacy ignites;
  • Possibilities of sexually transmitted diseases;
  • Dark corners that chip away at healthy levels of self-esteem; and
  • Peer pressure to have sex, even in the LGBT community. Keep reading ...

Obviously the question you as a parent face is, "What do I do to support, and guide my LGBT child in the matters of sex?" For each of us this will be different based upon our family values and standards of communication that you've created with your teen. As tricky as it might seem, it's really no different than having the birds and the bee's conversation. The only difference is you're now talking about the bee's and the bee's — queens and all! You might consider the following too!

1. Establish behavioral boundaries and expectations that you can both respect and agree to. Saying, "This is my house and as long as you live under this roof ... " won't necessarily prevent your child from having sex with their same-sex partner. Create a fluid environment that invites agreement.

2. Collaborate to educate. Sometimes your child may be the student and you the teacher. In other words, they may know more about same-sex sex than you do. If so, give them the opportunity to educate. If not, go forward together finding common grounds for learning in places like Aids.org, Planned Parenthood, or a local LGBT Center.

3. Encourage your child to ...

  • Use a condom;
  • Delay sexual activity until they're physically and emotionally ready;
  • Limit their sex partners;
  • Trust the wisdom of monogamy;
  • Ask about their partner's sexual history and tell them about theirs;
  • Get tested and request their sex partner to be tested for HIV and STI's;
  • Learn what sexual activities are high risks; and
  • Love themselves beyond reproach. Keep reading ...
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