Why Your Partner (Gay Or Straight) Doesn't Want To Give You A BJ

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couple in bed
Five reasons your partner is just not that into going down.

It may be a mouthful, but for some straight women and gay men, blow jobs just aren't their drink of choice.

I may get my gay card revoked for writing this one, but I don't care. And, there's a possibility that women who just find the male lollipop irresistible could burn me at the stake in effigy, right on my own front lawn, and I still don’t care.

Blow jobs aren't women's or man's best friend. GASP. I know, hard to believe that every woman and gay man isn’t salivating at the thought hunkering down on a bended knee, panting like a puppy dog, waiting to be submissive purely their guy's pleasure.

As a gay man I can honestly say that fellatio, the politically correct term for BJ, is quite pleasurable for me, both pitching and receiving. Nonetheless, I have to hand it to my sisters and brothers who take a stand and say, "Um, no! You're not putting that monster (or twig) in my mouth! Bravo and golf-clap for you for standing your ground against your man's sexual desires. After all, if it were against your taste, why would you submit?

Of course on the other side of that coin, gay or straight, the partner who rejects the thought of "open mouth, insert penis," can be an assault to a man's masculinity. OMG. Get over it, guys!

Just because your girl or your guy doesn't want to slob your knob, doesn't mean you have to immediately start testosterone injections.

Take a deep breath and consider the following.

1. Consider Manscaping.
Personally, for me, there's nothing attractive about a man's groin that resembles a jungle. To others, the more hair the better. To each their own, but for many women and men faced with, "Is he really expecting me to hunt in that jungle for his junk?" it's a real turn-off to end up with pubic hair between your teeth!

2. Bath And Body Works Has A Solution.
In the gay community, there's a tribe that really appreciates the Matthew McConaughey-type with their and his "au natural" scent — no deodorant and crotches that smell like jocks. I'm not a straight woman, so maybe the same holds true for some of them as well. All that being shared, if your junk stinks, "Why would I eat it?" If you want your man or woman to consider blowing your pied piper, consider a run to Bath and Body Works. In fact, it's almost time for their "Buy Three, Get Three Free Sale," so why not take advantage of it and lather up and give your guy or gal a free bottle of their favorite body wash as well.

3. Stop, Think, Don't.
In other words, "I don't want an STD!" Depending on your relationship, level of trust and where your partner thinks Mr. Happy might have been, there's always the possibility of  "He gave me…" If you're going to suggest, require, demand a BJ, be man enough to offer a condom, or documentation that you've got a clean bill of health.

4. If It's Not A Culinary Delight, Then Forget It.
A sommelier is known for their years spent becoming knowledgeable in all aspects of wine. Once they taste a wine they may gag, spit it out and not swallow. It holds true in the world of a fine fellatio as well. As full-bodied as an erect penis might be, if your partner doesn’t find it tastes good, or feels that it's being forced down their throat causing them to gag, then they're likely to spit it out, and they sure the heck have the right to say, "Are you crazy? I don't swallow!" Good reasons for a sensible straight woman or gay man to say, "No!"

5. No Deposit, No Return.
One of the most common reasons, for penis in mouth rejection, is because, whats good for the gander isn't good for the goose! Or in the gay world, gander #1 says, "Blow me." Gander #2 replies, "Blow me!" Gander #1, responds "I don't blow," to which, gander #2 disgustedly replies, "I don't suck either!" If you didn't follow that, it's simple. If you want a BJ, you better be ready for an even trade exchange. Many women, (remember I was married for 13 years to a woman, so I do have some insight) complain that their man wants them to spit dive on their penis, but their man is not willing to dive into the vajayjay for mutual ecstasy. In other words, equal play, for equal play!

While the ultimate foreplay, aphrodisiac and knee shattering orgasm might come from a man getting a masterful or even amateur blow job (remember, it doesn't take much to get us guys off), if you're going to expect this from your mate, then be willing to give a little on your end, even if that might mean giving up your end to bring them pleasure, which is a whole other article about why some men and women — gay or straight — don't enjoy anal sex.

Are you struggling with creating an even balance in your relationship, sexually or otherwise? Tired of staying in the same old position and not feeling fulfilled with your mate? Take advantage of a complimentary, coaching session with Life Coach Rick and let's see what we can do to get you on the road to a mind-blowing relationship!

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Article contributed by

Rick Clemons

Author

Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, live their passion while loving their work, and live authentically. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

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Location: Riverside, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPC
Specialties: LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Men's Issues, Sexuality
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