to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

How I Came Out Of The Closet On National TV

By . Posted on .

man microphone suit and tie
The heat is on.
... and why I've been coming out of the closet for my entire life.

However, before entering into the arms of matrimony, I did drop a little hint of my past to my then fiancé, but I did it in a way that wasn't a true confession. It was more like a a little FYI about my past sexual exploration. Kind of a "coming out" of sorts. Yet still not a complete coming out.

Roll forward, 2001 and the big one! The actual "coming out" to my wife. My life flip-flopped and the journey of "coming out" reached a plateau, or so I thought.

More from YourTango: Perks of Being A Voyeur

I was out. Out to my wife, my kids in a way they could comprehend at 5- and 2-years-old, to my parents, my brother, friends and co-workers. "Okay, wipe our hands of that. This is how you come out and it's done!" Oh, no, no, no! Who was I kidding? You never stop coming out!

To say that I've kept track of how many people I've come out to would be an outright lie. However, as I think over my life since I said, "Frankly my dear, I'm gay," I would estimate I have probably come out to at least 900 people and that's just my Facebook friends. Then there are co-workers along the way, other parents at my daughters schools, neighbors, new friends, friends of friends, doctors, dentists ... the list goes on. My best guess would be, close to 5000 people know I'm gay!

You see, I'm like an open book. I don't hide that I'm gay, nor do I wear a rainbow flag on my head and shout it from the rooftops. I'm simply gay and if it comes up in conversation, I work it in or answer the questions. Never really thought of it as a big deal and don't usually try to make an issue of my sexuality. However, not to long ago, the queen of Hairspray caused me to really "come out."

On Oct. 17, 2012 I was invited to be the "Coming Out Expert" on The Ricki Lake Show, for a segment entitled "When Gay People Lead Straight Lives." Excited, thrilled, in awe, were just a few of the feelings I was experiencing. Nothing weird was going on, until I was brought onto the set and realized in less than one minute, I was about to "come out" on national TV.

Yes, the thought had drifted through my gray matter a couple of times leading up to this moment and pushed aside. Now it was real. Like Wylie Coyote running off the cliff — there I was — suspended in air, knowing there was no turning back. However, then the reality hit, this "coming out" was only in front of the 200 plus crew and audience members that were watching the taping. Whew!

Yet, there still was no turning back. The show would eventually air. And, air it did! Nov. 2, 2012 — the day that hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions, found out I was gay! However, the journey doesn't end there! Not only are bits and pieces of the show archived on the internet and in the vaults of filmdom, now, once again, Thurs. January 24th, the show will re-air and I'm once again "coming out!"

More from YourTango: Gay Perspective: Why I Would Never Date A Married Man

If someone were to ask me, "How do you come out?," this wouldn't be the way I would advise them. Yet there is wisdom that bursts forth when you have the chance to sit on the same couch as the person that made Tracy Turnblad, a household name. Keep reading ...

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Rick Clemons

Author

Rick Clemons, The Coming Out Coach
Certified Professional Coach (CPC), Energy Leader Index, Master Practioner (ELI-MP)

Rick Clemons is a Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show guest, blogger, author, and Sex Coach U Faculty member, who lovingly addresses the many facets of Coming Out for all who are touched by this Journey. Rick also hosts his own radio show, The Coming Out Lounge.

Sign-up for Ricks' Free Video Series, "Coming Out Without Coming Unglued!"

Connect with Rick through his Coming Out & Life Coaching Newsletter.

Twitter - @RickClemons
Facebook - Rick The Coming Out Coach
You Tube Channel - Coming Out Coach

Location: Riverside, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPC
Specialties: LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Men's Issues, Sexuality
Other Articles/News by Rick Clemons:

Perks of Being A Voyeur

By

I love sex. I don’t deny it. I have enjoyed sex from a very young age and I find it healthy to have sex. Now before you gasp and pass judgment on the “very young age” comment, I’m referring to my voyeuristic child views of sex and intimacy. I don’t know if as a child I was more in tune with my sexuality, or if it was because I was ... Read more

Gay Perspective: Why I Would Never Date A Married Man

By

Just a little over 12 years ago, I would have said, "I'm not gay, I just like having sex with men!" Ahem, excuse me, that sounds a little homosexual to me. Granted, if you're a male and having sex with males, you could be bisexual, but whatever you are, just admit it and move on. But I didn't do that 12 years ago. I was caught in a ... Read more

If Openly Gay NBA Pro Jason Collins Were Female, We Wouldn't Care

By

The sports world is abuzz this week. Everyone from players to coaches are weighing in on what will happen now that NBA center Jason Collins has made history as the first player to officially come out of the closet and announcing he's gay; it was a free throw no one saw coming.  I'm not much of a sports nut, so I really don't see ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Solution

3 Keys To Apologizing After An Affair

Can't move on after an affair? Maybe it's because your partner didn't say "I'm sorry" the right way.

deep breath

Precious Gems

Are you struggling with your next move. Don't see challenges as a step back, but a move forward!

dating: what guys think of texting

What Guys Really Think Of Texting

He texts you without fail, but he never asks you out on a date. So what's the deal?

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS