ProConnect

Perks of Being A Voyeur

By

Perks of Being A Voyeur
Sex and intimacy doesn’t necessarily require participation. And that's ok!

I love sex. I don’t deny it. I have enjoyed sex from a very young age and I find it healthy to have sex. Now before you gasp and pass judgment on the “very young age” comment, I’m referring to my voyeuristic child views of sex and intimacy. I don’t know if as a child I was more in tune with my sexuality, or if it was because I was going through my pre-pubescent years during the late 60’s and early 70’s. You know, the era of free-love. Guys walking around with their shirts unbuttoned exposing their happy trails. Gals with butt cheeks hanging out of their hot pants. And of course, let’s not forget the occasional streaker letting everything hang out in public.

Those days kept my mind active and my developing libido in over drive. They also, validated I was more attracted to men than to women, I really didn’t know what to do with the butterflies in my stomach nor the pole jutting from my crotch at that age. Nonetheless, I learned something that continues to enhance my sexual and intimate experiences today. To be a voyeur is as satisfying as being an active participant. Now, hold your horses and put that phone down. No need to call the authorities and send them after me for stalking, or looking in windows. I’m a far cry from that kind of creepy, crawly, voyeurism. What I’m referring to is an ability to tap into your imagination, push your will power into admiration, and allow yourself not to be the focus of the climax.

More from YourTango: An Open Letter To The NFL — From A Gay Football Fan

I know, I am soooo not sounding like the stereotypical gay man right now. Well shame on you for placing that stereotypical burden on me. I never said I was stereotypical. In fact, I pride myself on being exquisitely eccentric in my execution of my gayness and my sexuality. I like it that I can be a wham bam thank you sir one day, and then a demure little cockette flirt that teases you into climax the next. For me, sex and intimacy should be a two way street, a one-way street, and a detour from the expected to keep the love alive and the man interested. So how do I do this?

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Rick Clemons

Author

Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, uncover their deepest passions, and live their life's purpose. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

Join Rick's Monthly "Guyz Like Us" Free Coaching Call For Gay Men!

Sign-up for Ricks' Free Video Series, "Coming Out Without Coming Unglued!"

Connect with Rick through his Coming Out & Life Coaching Newsletter.

Schedule A Discovery Session - Click Here

Twitter - @rickclemons & @ComingOutCoach
Facebook -The Gay Man's Life Coach & Rick The Coming Out Coach
You Tube Channel -The Gay Man's Life Coach & Coming Out Coach

Location: Riverside, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPC
Specialties: LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Men's Issues, Sexuality
Other Articles/News by Rick Clemons:

An Open Letter To The NFL — From A Gay Football Fan

By

Dear Mr. Goodell, Esteemed, NFL Commissioner:  First and foremost, congratulations on running one of the most successful entertainment franchises in America. I know it must take a tremendous amount of talent and hours to make the NFL run like a well-executed winning Super Bowl touchdown. Secondly, I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Rick ... Read more

Mr. Tax Man, Give Me A 'Gay Break!'

By

The only thing certain in gay marriage is death and screwed up taxes. Ah yes. As sure as the moon rises and the sun sets, April showers and tax season arrive each year. And this year is no different, unless you're gay and got married in one of the 17 states or District of Columbia where same-sex marriage is legal. If so, then welcome to your tax-filing ... Read more

Coming Out: Five Biggest Regrets After Escaping The Closet

By

It’s been almost 14 years since I came out of the closet. I’ve now been with my partner, almost as long as I was married. And, I’ve almost spent a third of my life on the other side of the closet door, being authentically who I am – a gay man. So what does that all add up to? A lot of joy, heartache, peace, and regrets. Today I want to ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Come Hither

Nuru Massage: A Slippery, Sexy Erotic Adventure

Nuru Massage is the hottest new erotic trend - here's how to do it at home without the mess!

Fighting

Put Your Relationship on a Diet Free of Blame and Criticism

Replace the blame and criticism in your relationship with heartfelt gratitude and appreciations.

Smooches

Why You'll Never Meet The Right Partner

Give up the search - and figure out how to actually create love instead.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS