You’re not alone if you feel like a kid in a candy store after coming out of the closet!
Whether you have a sweet tooth or not, there’s a delicious stimulation of the senses that occurs when you live your truth. Hard as it may seem to believe or understand, living as your “true self” is like a delicious taste of Godiva chocolate. Intense flavor, rich sensual stimulation, deep seeded satisfaction...and yes I am still talking about the chocolate. However, coming out and into your truth has a similar effect, even though at times you may ask yourself “Where’s the sweetness in this journey?”
In its purest sense, “coming out,” is a sweet surrender. It’s a magical moment when letting go and allowing yourself to fall into the magic of the moment, you discover the sweetness of you at your core. Raw, truthful, vulnerability, all mixing together in a tantalizing essence of you. Beckoned by this natural high, you suddenly (at least most gay men and a lot of lesbians) find yourself feeling like a kid in a candy story. Yep, Willy Wonka has nothing on you in this moment. The plethora of available treats in the candy store, “outside of the closet” is now bombarding you. Sweet tooth beware, if you try all the treats, you just might end up sick to your stomach...or not!
Taste, trick, and treat...it’s all good...within reason!
Dialing into my own personal experience, as well as observing what clients who are just “coming out” experience, the “kid in the candy store mentality” is going to happen, even to the best of you. It’s a rare individual that is immune from thoughts of “He’s one Hot Tamale,” or “My, my isn’t she a delicious little lump of vanilla cream!” It happens to the best of us. So many men/women. So little time to think rationally. Tick tock, the hands of time are flying by and you find yourself consuming people right and left.
Shackled by the handcuffs of untruth, the newbie bursts out of the closet doors and BAM, into a giant pool of delicious, multi-flavored Jelly Belly’s of relationships, dating, relationships, dating, relationships, date! Men, men, men and women, women, women – every size, flavor, and style for the sampling. Overwhelm set’s in and the logical head goes asunder, but it doesn’t have to.
Taste – Sample all the flavors and simply realize you are trying to discover what tastes right to you. Relish the flavors, and take your time. After all, no one ever taught you “how to date some one of the same sex,” so relish in the smorgasbord of “gay and lesbian dating!”
Trick – If so inclined, TRICK IT UP! Doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a slut, a tramp, or a cum n’ dump sort of guy/gal! Oh contraire! CONSCIOUSLY TRICKING IT UP is a whole different means sampling of the wares than SUB-CONSCIOUSLY TRICKING IT UP. Awake and aware tricking it up is simply giving yourself healthy permission to have an adult romp in the hay!
Treat – Allow yourself the passionate purpose to “treat” yourself to some respect in the candy store of life. Hovering in “the closet” is a form of disrespecting yourself. Whether it’s been 1, 5, 20 years of hiding, you now deserve to treat yourself with upmost respect and live your truth.
Metaphorically speaking, it is the “candy store” mentality that presents itself the moment you “step out of the closet.” Logically speaking, embrace it and know this, for most people, is simply mile marker #2 on your journey “out of the closet and into you!”
Coming Out Coach Rick specializes in working with men, women, couples and families during the transition when a spouse comes out of the closet. Drawing from his own coming out experience, Rick facilitates mutually beneficial rebirths for all concerned, that reflect an energetic shift that is a win/win. For more information, email firstname.lastname@example.org. Mention YourTango to receive a unique YourTango, Your Truth offer for services from Coming Out Coach Rick.