Well-intentioned and genuine gestures of concern will abound in numerous forms when an assault on the human condition is breeched — like divorce or coming out. Everyone within a calling circle or the touch of send button will have an opinion. Yet, no one truly had the right to tell my daughters or my ex-wife how to respond to me when I told them I was gay, nor how I should move forward into my "gay self."
I own my decision and have done the work to move into, through and past the guilt and shame. I also own that it is my purpose as a parent to be the best I can be for my children in the best way I know how, each and every moment of my life. That's all we can do and that is all that should be expected of us as perfectly imperfect human beings.
Whether you agree with what I've done or what I brought into my children's lives has no bearing on this post I am sharing. I share this because to assume that my coming out and my divorce ruined my daughters' lives would be just that ... an assumption. Instead, I invite you to look at how not living your own truth — whatever that is — may be affecting those around you.
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Now 18 and 13, my daughters are strong, independent, curious and accepting young ladies with a point of view that evokes the mantra, "Life is what you make of it." As a father, I couldn't be prouder ... and that has nothing to do with my gay pride.
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