Homo [Home] For The Holidays

By

Homo [Home] For The Holidays
Family holiday's got you feeling gray about being gay? Then let's start a new tradition!

The Jack O’ Lantern’s have hardly hit the compost heap these days before the first overt whispers of the holidays invade the retail shelves. On top of that, now Mom has declared Thanksgiving Dinner is now Brunch so that she and Aunt Tilly can get to Wal-Mart for the pre-Black Friday Sales that start at 8 pm on Thanksgiving Day. As if that isn’t enough to drive you crazy, you also have to deal with the coin toss over whether you’re going to his families or yours. Oh, and to add interest, you’re a gay couple so now the coin toss doesn’t really work because...

Scenario #1: You’re “out” but your boyfriends not, so we have to play the “This is my friend Todd” game.

 

Scenario #2: You’re out to your family but the reality doesn’t exist as long as you don’t come home for the holidays with your Homo boyfriend.

Scenario #3: You’re both out, your families are both accepting, but it’s the extended family that’s stuffing you with underhanded comments around the dinner table about what you’re stuffing where.

It really doesn’t matter the complexity of the situation or the reality of the drama that may ensue when you roam home for the holidays as the token homosexual. Truthfully speaking, it rests on your shoulders and in your own thoughts how you choose to be in the festivities and how you react or deflect the smorgasbord of family dynamics that will come your way. Same goes for your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend as well as for your family. We all stand at choice as to how we will be in the moment when Adam & Steve step into the festivities with glee.

Rather than rely on holiday elixirs to warm the heart and numb the senses, a little “Operation Make It Work,” may be the best gift of all to keep emotions and loose lips in check.

Chat it up and be honest. Avoiding what you’re feeling, anticipating, or wishing will or won’t happen by not speaking your truth, doesn’t rack up bonus points with Good Old Saint Nick. Speak candidly and from the heart with whomever you feel compelled to bare your holiday angst with so that you get your feelings out in the open. Better to diffuse the situation before five generations of Clampett’s are in the house, than to become the fuse that explodes because you and your beloved cannot partake in grace do to your “lifestyle.”

Have a game plan. If Uncle Pete is know for becoming surly and homophobic after a few cocktails, then find an ally who can block and tackle on your behalf. While his behavior isn’t something you have to accept, it also isn’t something you have to be a party to. Assembling your defensive line-up in advance helps prevent “in the moment fumbles” you may regret later.

Article contributed by

Rick Clemons

Author

Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, live their passion while loving their work, and live authentically. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

Join Rick's Monthly "Guyz Like Us" Free Coaching Call For Gay Men!

Connect with Rick through his Coming Out & Life Coaching Newsletter.

Schedule A Discovery Session - Click Here

Twitter - @rickclemons
Facebook -The Gay Man's Life Coach & Rick The Coming Out Coach
You Tube Channel -The Gay Man's Life Coach & Coming Out Coach

Location: Riverside, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPC
Specialties: LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Men's Issues, Sexuality
Other Articles/News by Rick Clemons:

To Gay Men Suffering Abuse: 5 Reasons It's NEVER Your Fault

By

Domestic violence: it's the gay man's dirty little secret. Verbal or emotional, there's nothing "fabulous" about being the victim or the aggressor in gay domestic violence. Imagine Trent—rugged, masculine, man's man. The epitome of a mountain man, straight from the pages of an REI catalogue. He's enough to make women ... Read more

Stop Complaining! 5 Family Holiday Problems To Get Over, STAT

By

Be careful what you bring to the Thanksgiving table this year. Karma is a powerful "return to sender" energy. How do I know? Because I started holiday drama with my family just a few days before Thanksgiving this year. Yes, as in just a few days ago!   My partner and I plan to leave the warmth of Southern California to spend the holiday with ... Read more

Love The Drama? Fine! 10 Ways To Be Miserable As A Gay Man

By

Misery loves company, but that doesn't mean it wants to hang out with the whole gay population. I confess, I was once a miserable gay man, and I still am from time to time. But, for the most part I've found practices for staying mindful about the things that pull me under. Believe me, it's not easy staying clear of the misery pit; but, it's even ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular