10 Things Gay Men Need To Let Go Of To Keep Their Sanity!


10 Things Gay Men Need To Let Go Of To Keep Their Sanity!
There’s more to a good “release” than an orgasm. Sometimes you just need to shed your gay beliefs!

I turned 50 this year. In gay years that’s like turning 70. To some, I’m now a daddy, even though I’ve been a daddy for over 18 years. To others I’m a poppa bear. Whatever! I may be a big, tall, stocky, gay man, but the last time I looked, I wasn’t covered in fur, except in all the right places. I really don’t care how I’m labeled, because I’ve learned, fingers crossed behind my back, to let it go.

Although it may seem painful to “let go,” a majority of the time letting go creates a rocking “When Chase Met Logan” moment. Euphoric, relaxing, refreshing, and exhilarating states tickle us from head to toe similar to an orgasm. This metaphoric juxtaposition has a point. If letting go of things created an orgasmic release, how would gay men spend their time? Sorry! Didn’t mean to throw the stereotypical, “Gay men are all about sex,” comparison into the prose. It just happened to drive the point home!


Of course, this soul searching, let it go, light bulb moment has been a reality check for me in the wake of turning 5-0, sending my oldest off to college, and cross-checking my mid-life bucket list. More than a few times I’ve gotten my Calvin’s in a bunch frustrated by thoughts of what have I been doing? Thank goodness for good friends, my partner, kids, and coach who’ve eagerly lined up to give me swift kick in the nether regions, which has an uncanny affect on thought stimulation!

Jolted out of my own slippery slope toward “gay mans regrets,” which requires a 24-step recovery program, I found myself drifting towards the brilliant question, “What is it gay men need to let go of?” Of course the first picture that I conjured up in my head isn’t something I’ll share. You can use your own imagination. However, what I landed on are 10 worthwhile “letting go”releases I believe all gay men are fully capable of liberating themselves from without losing their gay card!

10 Things Gay Men Need To Let Go Of For Their Sanity!

Being too gay. For crying out loud, is this even possible? The spectrum of gay is far too vast for anything, or any gay man to be too gay!

Fear of being yourself. Don’t do that! Don’t’ be yourself. It would be a horrible assault on your snippy, catty, Mommie Dearest persona, if you were found out to be a subdued, intellectual, book worm yearning for a white picket fence, and 2.5 houseboys to care for you and the husband!

Trepidation of getting older. In the beginning there was gay baby boy. In the end there’s dead gay man. Sorry to be so harsh, but boys, none of us are getting out of this alive, so suck it up and be your best boy now. And, out of respect for the rest of us, please quit squeezing into your Rough Rider sleeveless-t from 20 years ago!

Intimacy Anxiety Disorder (IAD not to be confused with IUD, which we gay men don’t need). Lesson #1, sex is sex. Lesson #2, intimacy is intimacy. Lesson #3, sex and intimacy play well together. Lesson #4, it doesn’t mean you’re weird if you want more intimacy in your life than sex. Man up and admit intimacy turns you on! Phobia

Article contributed by

Rick Clemons


Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, live their passion while loving their work, and live authentically. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

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Location: Riverside, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPC
Specialties: LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Men's Issues, Sexuality
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