- Don’t hold it in but don’t spew it out. If you’re really not sure what or how you feel about getting married, then be honest and direct without being bitchy about it or pointing a finger. “I know this is important to you, but quite honestly, I’m not sure how I feel about being married.”
- Realize what you hear isn’t necessarily what they meant. Clean out the ear was, turn up the hearing aid, and intuitively listen to what your partner says and means. Underneath it all lies the real issues and it may not necessarily be what’s said on the surface.
- “C” Phobia my not be curable. At some point in time, most of us, gay or straight, experience “commitment phobia.” What feels good at the beginning of the Bell Curve of the relationship may peak out and start its downward descent as soon as the “MMMMAARRRIIIEEED” word get’s uttered. If this is the case, explore if this is a terminal case of “commitment-titus” or a “24-hour bug.” Trust that the discoveries you uncover are the prescription you need to heal your relationship, even if it means...”It’s been great, see ya!”
- If it’s a Ford then it’s not a Mercedes. Certain cars come well equipped for the long haul and after factory parts and accessories never quite perform the way the originals would have. Nor do they bring you the satisfaction you would expect. As much as you may desire to harness Mr. Man with the great abs and tush that you can bounce a quarter off of, if he’s not equipped with the accessories that marriage is made of, he more than likely never will be. Enough said!
- Read the fine print. Dreamy or not, marriage ain’t for the faint of heart. Regardless of the length of time you’ve been together, there is a sense of sensibility that is required before signing the dotted line. Understand what you want and desire from taking your relationship to the next level, and conversely the same goes for your other half. It’s called “communicating.” What a novel concept.
This isn’t Martha Stewart’s Gay Marriage For The Budget Conscious, or Dr. Phil’s Gaily Married Ever After. If anything, it’s mainstreaming and up-leveling your relationship just like any other couple face sprior to walking down the aisle. After all, if you think a Bridezilla is bad, you ain’t seen nothing until you’ve seen an Abercrombie Model look-alike Groom go from poised and charming to “girl look out” in two flips and a snap of his fingers.
Suffice it to say, “Happily ever after,” takes focus, work, partnering, understanding, and clear-cut communication. Rather than choke on luscious taste of Godiva Chocolates, avoid the candy coated, tip toeing around the subject and turn to your boyfriend/girlfriend and say, “So, how do you feel about gay marriage.” Get it out, get it on, and get it understood.
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