Don’t let the Politics of “I Do” cool down what’s happening between the sheets and in your life!
The 2012 political season is in full swing. The first of three Presidential Debates, has faded into history like a bad one-night stand. Obama and Romney both had things to say, just ask the pundits, however, somebody (Romney) seems to have cleaned the sheets on Obama. That’s really neither here nor there. Or is it?
Besides the economy, jobs, foreign relations, healthcare, additional issues are steaming up the political buffet table that could get in the way of you and your amore maintaining your rights and dignity; and not because you got caught with your pants down with some rent-a-boy/girl. Subtly lying like a lady in wait are the controversial, thought-provoking, and hot topics of...
Gay marriage...is it a human right?
Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA)...will it be deemed constitutional by the Supreme Court or not?
Employment Non-Discrimination Act...which rights could be repealed under a Romney administration?
Add these concerns to your already full plate of career direction (or lack there of), keeping the sparks alive between your six-pack and his (How To Date A Gay Man), finding the balance between same-sex parenting and social life (6 Lessons I Learned By Talking to My Teenage Daughter), and you just might be saying, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!” You may not, but then, what happens if gay marriage, becomes a reality across the nation? Will you find yourself losing your appetite when your honey turns to you at the dinner table and says, “Now that we can get married, when should we?”
Cough! Choke! Call the medics and start the Heimlich maneuver. For good measure have a bottle of Club Soda on hand to quickly rinse out the 2002 Caymus Special Selection Cabernet Sauvignon that just spilled onto your great grandmothers Fleur d’Andeol French lace tablecloth.
Reaction or Reality? Are you ready for Gay Marriage?
Whether you’ve dreaming since you were a little girl (or boy) of dressing up in a princess gown for your big fat gay wedding, or if the thought of walking down the aisle is an interesting appetizer yet to be tasted, there is an out-of-body experience that most gays and lesbians are not prepared for when the rubber meets the road in the pursuit of happily ever after. Is it exuberant happiness? Could it be a twist of “Save me from this madness”? Or, on the contraire, you find your inner voice number 26 saying, “See, I told you we should have talked about this. Now look at what’s happening, we’re getting roped in to a life long commitment.” Egads what is one to do?
5 Steps For Putting The White Elephant In
The White Vera Wang On The Table For Discussion!
Don’t hold it in but don’t spew it out. If you’re really not sure what or how you feel about getting married, then be honest and direct without being bitchy about it or pointing a finger. “I know this is important to you, but quite honestly, I’m not sure how I feel about being married.”
Realize what you hear isn’t necessarily what they meant. Clean out the ear was, turn up the hearing aid, and intuitively listen to what your partner says and means. Underneath it all lies the real issues and it may not necessarily be what’s said on the surface.
“C” Phobia my not be curable. At some point in time, most of us, gay or straight, experience “commitment phobia.” What feels good at the beginning of the Bell Curve of the relationship may peak out and start its downward descent as soon as the “MMMMAARRRIIIEEED” word get’s uttered. If this is the case, explore if this is a terminal case of “commitment-titus” or a “24-hour bug.” Trust that the discoveries you uncover are the prescription you need to heal your relationship, even if it means...”It’s been great, see ya!”
If it’s a Ford then it’s not a Mercedes. Certain cars come well equipped for the long haul and after factory parts and accessories never quite perform the way the originals would have. Nor do they bring you the satisfaction you would expect. As much as you may desire to harness Mr. Man with the great abs and tush that you can bounce a quarter off of, if he’s not equipped with the accessories that marriage is made of, he more than likely never will be. Enough said!
Read the fine print. Dreamy or not, marriage ain’t for the faint of heart. Regardless of the length of time you’ve been together, there is a sense of sensibility that is required before signing the dotted line. Understand what you want and desire from taking your relationship to the next level, and conversely the same goes for your other half. It’s called “communicating.” What a novel concept.
This isn’t Martha Stewart’s Gay Marriage For The Budget Conscious, or Dr. Phil’s Gaily Married Ever After. If anything, it’s mainstreaming and up-leveling your relationship just like any other couple face sprior to walking down the aisle. After all, if you think a Bridezilla is bad, you ain’t seen nothing until you’ve seen an Abercrombie Model look-alike Groom go from poised and charming to “girl look out” in two flips and a snap of his fingers.
Suffice it to say, “Happily ever after,” takes focus, work, partnering, understanding, and clear-cut communication. Rather than choke on luscious taste of Godiva Chocolates, avoid the candy coated, tip toeing around the subject and turn to your boyfriend/girlfriend and say, “So, how do you feel about gay marriage.” Get it out, get it on, and get it understood.
If you're struggling with how to be in your gay relationship and just need to sort it out, try a sample coaching session with Life Coach Rick. - CLICK HERE. Also, take advantage of my fall special, Initial 4 Coaching Sessions, $99 ea. a 40% Savings. To take advantage of this offer email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 949.637.1838