Happiness to just be me. Similar to “being good enough,” the inability to “just be who you are, in your own skin,” is a plague that runs rampant in the gay community. Why? Because the collateral damage has already been done. Years of assaulting our frame of mind has led us to believe, we as gay men cannot just be, we have to be something else. Yet, when the energetic shift is allowed to happen, and the message plays loud and proud that “You are so beautiful (thank you Christina Aguilera),” all of us, gay men or otherwise, feel the tingling from head to toe as if we’ve just been miraculously approved to exist as humans by our Fairy Godmother, no pun intended.
Live life without regrets. A majority of the gay men I know, and work with, fear reaching the end of their life filled with an abundance of regrets. Stoked by the fires of “have it all, experience it all, be it all,” they go, go, go, and in the blink of the proverbial eye, life has passed them by and they stand in a pool filled with “Now what?” Yet, how true is this of anyone who continues to live by unrealistic expectations from others, let alone our own self-induced crazy making thoughts.
Faith in love, and love in faith. Regardless of the form it takes, love is an individual experience. As unique as we each are as human beings, so is our individual definition of love. Believe it or not, a majority of gay men do believe in love - true love. They also believe in having a healthy sex life, keeping the sparks alive, and course correcting when relationship issues arise. In fact, contrary to popular belief, and not just my opinion, I believe more and more gay men are optimistic about dating and finding love than in any other point and time in history. Maybe it’s the shift in societal views, or possiblty we’ve finally said, “Enough is enough!” Regardless, more and more gay men are seeking to co-habitate, and commit to long-term relationships – however, that uniquely fits for them.
With cupid’s arrow just around the corner, I invite everyone, to look at the five hearts desires listed above and ask, “Is this really only about gay men, or is it simply a human condition?”
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Go out there and love someone just because they’re human!
Rick Clemons, The Coming Out Coach
Certified Professional Coach (CPC), Energy Leader Index, Master Practioner (ELI-MP)
Rick Clemons is a Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show guest, blogger, author, and Sex Coach U Faculty Member, who lovingly addresses the many facets of Coming Out for all who are touched by this Journey. Rick has hosted his own radio show, The Coming Out Lounge, and appeared on numerous other radio shows as a guest expert.