Gay Hearts Desire

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Gay Hearts Desire
Gay or human, you be the judge...just don't be too judgmental this Valentines Day!

Sexual, kinky, all about the chase, never about love. Really? That’s who you are? No? Oh, then you must be talking about gay men! Whew! I wouldn’t want to mistake any of you heterosexuals as being like gay men, especially this close to Valentine’s Day. No need to tarnish what “love’s really all about!” And, if you believe that only heterosexuals know what loves all about, then I’ve got a tropical island at the North Pole I’ll sell ya...Mai Tai’s included!

In fact, I would venture a guess. No, scratch that. I believe most gay men actually want to be loved and desire to love someone - not just on Valentine’s Day. At the core, love – romantic or otherwise - stands firmly in the third tier of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Granted, due to some form of mental cross wiring, or socialization brainwashing, some people “appear not to need love,” but that isn’t the state of the gay male population as a whole...it’s simply a figment of society’s imagination that this is the way gay men are supposed to be!

 

True dat, gay men seem to be more sexually promiscuous, and dip their wicky more frequently than the average Joe in whatever "hole" they can find. However, I argue, it's more talk than do - after all they are men! In fact, in my practice over the last year, I have had more gay men present themselves, who have sex less frequently than Taylor Swift changes boyfriends. Yet, gay men get called on the carpet for being “Ho’s” and exercising their sexual freedom...”Because that’s just how Gay Men do it!” I, for one am tired of being thrown in the proverbial bucket of “Wham, bam, thank you Man,” and I am going to share what I know to be many a "Gay Man’s Heart Desires."

Love without conditions. There always seems to be this conditional aspect to being loved as a gay man. Actually, it’s not just gay men. It’s the entire Lesbian, Gay, Transgender, and Bi-sexual community who battle this stigma. However, ask yourself this, “How many people in your life love you unconditionally?” Funny how when you look at it from this perspective it is just simply a human desire of the human race, to want to be loved unconditionally!

Trust, to be good enough. Without doing a scientific study that allows 1% margin for error, I surmise that every gay man at some point in their “coming out process” has been told their not good enough! “You're to weak, effeminate, tender, etc.” That's typically the catalyst that starts the “Overcompensating, looking fabulous, driving the best cars, having the best looking boyfriends, etc.” Hmmm. Sounds like, yet again, when we look around us, it seems to be the behavior of many people – trying hard to be accepted because someone somewhere has told them, “You Suck!”

Keep reading...

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Article contributed by

Rick Clemons

Author

Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, live their passion while loving their work, and live authentically. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

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Location: Riverside, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPC
Specialties: LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Men's Issues, Sexuality
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