Frankly My Dear I'm Gay - Part 1


Frankly My Dear I'm Gay - Part 1
Discover why asking "why" doesn't solve anything when your partner tells you "I'm Gay."

In fact, for many individuals who’ve been living in the closet, the “why’s” have kept them trapped for so long that the question of “Why should I do this now” can immobilize them in their thoughts, feelings and behaviors and still, nothing happens. They continue to live a lie, fantasize or have actual same sexual relations with persons of the same sex, clam up with their existing partners, and move away from their current relationship yet stay in the relationship. Each time they rush to the edge of the cliff to take that grand leap of faith in themselves, they instead retreat deeper into a world of self-hate, guilt, and remorse that manifests in their current relationship as lack of interest, bitterness, and anger. The “why” never gets resolved or answered.

The person receiving the “I’m gay” bomb, they ask...

  • Why now after all this time?
  • Why me?
  • Why didn’t I see this coming?
  • Why did I allow this to happen?
  • Why didn’t I do more for our relationship?

The bottom line is this, YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING BUT OPEN YOUR HEART AND LOVE SOMEONE! It’s the epitome of being vulnerable, trusting and in love. Whether your relationship goes on the rocks because your partner “comes out of the closet” or because they cheated on you, you still gave your heart, trust, and vulnerability to them. That’s what happens in relationships. Realizing and accepting these truths is also the first key to unlocking the “healing door” so you can start to move past the big shocker of an intimate partner’s “coming out!” In all relationships there are levels of vulnerability, trust, and love that put us “at risk.” The real adventure comes with trusting ourselves enough to go experience those emotions and grow through them, even when the tornado rips our lives apart.

Regardless of which side of the “coming out” fence you sit on, I invite you to move quickly through the “Why’s.” Why’s rarely resolve anything. In fact “Why’s,” as already demonstrated, can keep us stuck and cause us to retreat into “in-action.” It’s the “What’s” that get us moving so that we can shift our energy and step out of the tornado. And that’s exactly where we’re headed in Part 2 of “Frankly My Dear I’m Gay.” We’ll explore the “what’s” that will enable you to get on with your life and see the true purpose and blessing of your spouse/partner coming “out of the closet.”


Curious about life coaching? Want to get it a try? Let’s chat. You and me. No obligation. Schedule your Complimentary Session today.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Rick Clemons


Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, live their passion while loving their work, and live authentically. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

Join Rick's Monthly "Guyz Like Us" Free Coaching Call For Gay Men!

Connect with Rick through his Coming Out & Life Coaching Newsletter.

Schedule A Discovery Session - Click Here

Twitter - @rickclemons
Facebook -The Gay Man's Life Coach & Rick The Coming Out Coach
You Tube Channel -The Gay Man's Life Coach & Coming Out Coach

Location: Riverside, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPC
Specialties: LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Men's Issues, Sexuality
Other Articles/News by Rick Clemons:

Gray And Gay: Why You Shouldn't Fear Coming Out Late In Life


As the gay marriage movement gains momentum and even the President is on board with the idea of it, more and more people are able to walk proudly into their sexual truth. Coming out happens no matter your age, race or cultural heritage. It's happening minute-by-minute, day-by-day. Granted, the challenges to come out and be yourself can be more difficult ... Read more

10 Tips For Parents Who Find Out Their Kid Is Gay


"Mom, Dad, I'm gay." Rarely are these words met with fanfare and rainbow flags flying, except in the rare instance when your parents already knew and were just waiting for you to admit it. The more common reactions are fear, disappointment, confusion and outright anger. But the worst is when a parent's first thought is, "how am I ... Read more

Is He Checking Me Out? What Gay Men Think In The Locker Room


Michael Sam made headline news when he shared a celebratory kiss with his boyfriend after hearing that he was joining the St. Louis Rams. With the rise in openly gay athletes participating in professional sports, many people are wondering if gay athletes are more or less prone to check out other athletes in the locker room. My answer? Absolutely not! The ... Read more

See More


Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.