Coming Out: Pitfalls and Perks Of Being A Late Bloomer


Coming Out: Pitfalls and Perks Of Being A Late Bloomer
As society leans more gay "ok," so do the number of people who realize, "I 'come out' now, or never!

Mature and focused. Yes, I know there are a lot of mid-lifers out there who aren’t mature and are probably the furthest thing from focused on anything other than getting by day-to-day. That being said, if you are one of those that is mature and focused in your life, there seems to be some magical other elements that you also bring to the table due to your closet dwelling days. I believe there’s inner wisdom that comes from hiding behind our masks for lengthy periods of time, that enable us to maturely address life’s challenges and focus on what’s important. Just my take, but one that I see more often than not when working with the mid-lifers, coming out of the closet.

Deeper respect for life’s challenges. By no means am I inferring that staying in the closet makes you better, or more readily able to handle life’s challenges as they come your way. However, there is a resilience that comes from sitting on the sidelines, hiding your truth for years that, for many, instills a “I will survive” mentality. Facing down the ramifications of bursting everyone’s bubble of who they think you are, to who you really are, is no small bump in life’s road. For some, it’s as deeply challenging as facing an actual death, which in a way that’s exactly what it is, death of the person that once was so the person that is can be born.

Agent of change. You might not have considered that your coming out late in life could have global impact, but in interesting and strange ways it does. Each time anyone steps out to live their truth – gay or straight – the balance of society shift. By living our truth, as we are meant to, it means we are no longer pretending to be something we’re not, which means we’re no longer having pretend relationships with others. What’s also really cool about standing in your true sexual essence as a late bloomer is you never know when it might influence someone else who’s “getting married for all the wrong reasons” to stand at the “y” in the road and take the path marked “come out now” vs. “come out as a late bloomer.”

Like most things in life, there’s pro’s and con’s, yin and yang’s, and black and white thinking for coming out early or late in life. In all honesty, it comes down to what the best decision for you, in yourself, given the beliefs and values you hold, to be the best possible you in the moment you’ve been given. There is no handbook, or blueprint for coming out. There’s only the moment when you finally admit, this is my time, and I’m going for it.

Ready for a shot of self-love, confidence, and I’m good enough to help you start or continue your journey out of the closet? Set up an introductory coaching session with Rick today, and let’s start opening that closet door!


Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Rick Clemons


Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, live their passion while loving their work, and live authentically. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

Join Rick's Monthly "Guyz Like Us" Free Coaching Call For Gay Men!

Connect with Rick through his Coming Out & Life Coaching Newsletter.

Schedule A Discovery Session - Click Here

Twitter - @rickclemons
Facebook -The Gay Man's Life Coach & Rick The Coming Out Coach
You Tube Channel -The Gay Man's Life Coach & Coming Out Coach

Location: Riverside, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPC
Specialties: LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Men's Issues, Sexuality
Other Articles/News by Rick Clemons:

Gray And Gay: Why You Shouldn't Fear Coming Out Late In Life


As the gay marriage movement gains momentum and even the President is on board with the idea of it, more and more people are able to walk proudly into their sexual truth. Coming out happens no matter your age, race or cultural heritage. It's happening minute-by-minute, day-by-day. Granted, the challenges to come out and be yourself can be more difficult ... Read more

10 Tips For Parents Who Find Out Their Kid Is Gay


"Mom, Dad, I'm gay." Rarely are these words met with fanfare and rainbow flags flying, except in the rare instance when your parents already knew and were just waiting for you to admit it. The more common reactions are fear, disappointment, confusion and outright anger. But the worst is when a parent's first thought is, "how am I ... Read more

Is He Checking Me Out? What Gay Men Think In The Locker Room


Michael Sam made headline news when he shared a celebratory kiss with his boyfriend after hearing that he was joining the St. Louis Rams. With the rise in openly gay athletes participating in professional sports, many people are wondering if gay athletes are more or less prone to check out other athletes in the locker room. My answer? Absolutely not! The ... Read more

See More


Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.