Mature and focused. Yes, I know there are a lot of mid-lifers out there who aren’t mature and are probably the furthest thing from focused on anything other than getting by day-to-day. That being said, if you are one of those that is mature and focused in your life, there seems to be some magical other elements that you also bring to the table due to your closet dwelling days. I believe there’s inner wisdom that comes from hiding behind our masks for lengthy periods of time, that enable us to maturely address life’s challenges and focus on what’s important. Just my take, but one that I see more often than not when working with the mid-lifers, coming out of the closet.
Deeper respect for life’s challenges. By no means am I inferring that staying in the closet makes you better, or more readily able to handle life’s challenges as they come your way. However, there is a resilience that comes from sitting on the sidelines, hiding your truth for years that, for many, instills a “I will survive” mentality. Facing down the ramifications of bursting everyone’s bubble of who they think you are, to who you really are, is no small bump in life’s road. For some, it’s as deeply challenging as facing an actual death, which in a way that’s exactly what it is, death of the person that once was so the person that is can be born.
Agent of change. You might not have considered that your coming out late in life could have global impact, but in interesting and strange ways it does. Each time anyone steps out to live their truth – gay or straight – the balance of society shift. By living our truth, as we are meant to, it means we are no longer pretending to be something we’re not, which means we’re no longer having pretend relationships with others. What’s also really cool about standing in your true sexual essence as a late bloomer is you never know when it might influence someone else who’s “getting married for all the wrong reasons” to stand at the “y” in the road and take the path marked “come out now” vs. “come out as a late bloomer.”
Like most things in life, there’s pro’s and con’s, yin and yang’s, and black and white thinking for coming out early or late in life. In all honesty, it comes down to what the best decision for you, in yourself, given the beliefs and values you hold, to be the best possible you in the moment you’ve been given. There is no handbook, or blueprint for coming out. There’s only the moment when you finally admit, this is my time, and I’m going for it.
Ready for a shot of self-love, confidence, and I’m good enough to help you start or continue your journey out of the closet? Set up an introductory coaching session with Rick today, and let’s start opening that closet door!