The inside scoop from Facebook Fans on coming out without coming unglued!
Numerous articles have been written. Thousands of frames of video shot. And, more debates and discussions have been had in open forums and closed closets than humanly possible to imagine. No matter how old you are, or the level of experience you had experimenting with your sexuality, there is no right or wrong way to do what you’re about to do...COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.
If anyone tells you they have the perfect solution, either
- Blackmail them for the holy grail of coming out
- Listen and see if they’re blowing smoke
- Run and run fast, because there is no perfect way to say, “I’m Gay!”
Rehearse all you want. Find a time when Mercury’s not in retrograde. Wear your favorite, “This makes me feel invincible” outfit. It’s all good. I simply want you to know,
“The perfect way to say you’re gay is when you’re ready, in your own way, and it may not be perfect!”
Sorry to disappoint, but I’d rather be honest, than blow smoke into your already clouded, and confused state head. I’m also not going to keep you hanging, without some juicy coming out advice. However, for once, I’m not going to be doling out the goods. Instead, I'm going to let some other voices of experince talk.
In fact, this precious insight is from a whole lot of beautiful people that you don’t know, you’ve never met, may never meet, who’ve been through the closet door, and who happen to be followers of my Coming Out Coach Facebook Page. I couldn’t be a more proud papa then tright now to share the beautiful responses I received from cool fans to this question I posed on my page.
“What coming out advice would you give someone who’s just starting their journey?”
Lucky you! Here’s their bucketfuls and boatloads of advice, overflowing to the brim! Enjoy!
Best Coming Out Advice From Facebook Fans Of The Coming Out Coach!
Be strong, don't be afraid, and make sure you have someone you trust that you can talk to!!!
Make sure you have a foundation of support, because each “out” is unique and different.
Being yourself is always easier, more fulfilling and mor joyful than pretending to be someone you're not. You've already shown that you are strong enough and determined enough to create a persona --apply that strength and determination to living your truth.
And with that...you will always be moving forward with your life from that point on! A wonderful feeling!
Remember, your family has to come out of your closet too.
Be yourself !!!!!
Be confident. Project the confidence from within. Talk with no shame because you should have no shame - there's nothing wrong with you, you are exactly who you need to be. When the subject comes up, don't make a huge deal out of it because it is only a part of who you are.
It's best to treat it like the kind of car I drive: sometimes subtle, but always direct and honest.
Be confident, and enjoy the experience of becoming free from the fear of being outed, and enjoy taking control over that fear instead of letting it control you.
Come out to yourself first. You can NEVER come out to anyone else until you are able to accept yourself. Choose carefully who you come out to next. Make sure that after you come out to yourself and stop denying your reality that you come out to someone you know is safe, and will stand beside you no matter what, even if that person is not a member of your family. Also remember that coming out is not a one-time event, but a life-long process.
You don't realize how being in the closet is truly affecting your life until you're outside of it. Just do it and you will never regret it!
Start a conversation. Normal, everyday talk. Bring it in casually, like it is no big deal but with the conviction that nothing is more important. If you can, plan it out as long as you can ahead of time. Play out various scenarios. Stay strong and be prepared to walk away. Have an exit strategy, a safe place to run. Don't be angry, you may get a better reception than you think. Be ready for initial shock and play the long game. Even the unwilling can be brought to terms with good strategy.
Don't wait! This is the best time ever to come out!
If your Bio family disowns you find a new family! We now have 18 kids and counting! Only 2 are our Bio kids!
Be like Nike and Just Do It. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.
Be strong! Don’t be scared. Be strong. Don't be afraid.
Steps. Take your Time! Baby steps.
You are you those who do not accept it are not and should not matter anymore. Closets are for skeletons, clothes and the Monsters Inc. crew... C’mon out.
Just be you.
Do it sooner vs. later - you owe it to yourself to live your full truth.
Never to be ashamed of who they are. Be true to yourself, who you are, and never let anyone-family or friend. No one can always be accepting and that is life, but always be you.
Don't worry what people will say or think, be yourself and love u.
Take a deep breath, head up high, confident look on your face, and own it! Being your authentic self is the greatest gift you can give yourself. When you look in the mirror the person looking back at you is happy, relieved, and proud. Then say to that person in the mirror. " We did it!”
You HAVE to believe that you deserve to be happy!
Stay strong, have faith, find people you can trust.
Just come out of the F'n closet. If they don't like it, don't worry, they will come around.
Own it, never look back and realize what others think doesn’t matter...you gotta be yourself to be truly happy!!!
Take it in stride... U have time to just enjoy.
Just Do It.
Don’t be afraid it’s worth it, once you finally tell your parents, it will be worth it, in it’s own way.
Have a support system, and try not to get defensive - just let them know you feel ready to share this part of your life with them.
There you have it. Quite a list, and by no means the “end all, be all” of "coming out" adivce lists. Hopefully, it gives you a starting place for finding peace and inner strength to step into the light of you.
Now for one final piece of advice, mine...
Permit yourself to see that you’re stepping into being you, the real you, and all any of us truly want is to be loved, and cared for as a human being, not as a human being pretending to be something we’re not.
Good luck and I’m here when you need the support!
Rick Clemons, The Gay Mans Life Coach And Coming Out Coach
Certified Professional Coach (CPC), Energy Leader Index, Master Practioner (ELI-MP), International Coach Federation, Associate Certified Coach (ACC)
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