5 Tips To Survive Post Valentine's Day Delusions (PVDD)


5 Tips To Survive Post Valentine's Day Delusions (PVDD)
How to cope when your Valentine's Day didn't exactly live up to your high expectations!

It's February 15th and beyond. After Valentine's Day, rather than days filled with roses, chocolates, and kisses, you may find yourself suffering from  Post Valentine's Day Delusions or PVDD.


  • You didn't get exactly what you desired.
  • Your special 'amore' wasn't quite the Prince Charming he should have been.
  • You found yourself staring at grandma panties instead Victoria's Secret lingerie.

Then, it is very likely that you are gnashing your teeth and playing neurotic ping pong in your mind. Cupids arrow probably missed the target and you find yourself in a tailspin heading straight toward PVDD becoming your new reality.

Get over it and pull yourself out of the delusion and create a new illusion. After all, most the stories we create about how "things should be" or "what we expect," are just our own illusions gone astray. Once you connect this new way of thinking to your heartfelt emotions, there is suddenly no need to weep tears the size of rose petals. Instead, you buck it up and say, "And so it is!" Here are five tips for getting past PVDD:

1. Ask yourself, "Did my expectations create this madness? "How high you set your expectation is directly related to how deep you crash and burn. It's really the game we play with ourselves without including others that gets us in trouble. If you want that Tiffany diamond, then say, "I want that Tiffany diamond." Just make sure that you're heard, a Tiffany diamond is reasonable, and there's a contingency plan for not getting what you desire. Living Up To Expectations During The Holidays

2. Assess if your feelings are about you or them. There's a powerful mantra that sums this thought up nicely. "What someone says or does, is all about them. What you say or do in response, is all about you." Dig in, look at it from both viewpoints to discover who this is all about. 

3. What would be different? You didn't get a box of Godiva chocolates, mind blowing sex eluded you, and your ass is dragging on the ground because Cupid's arrow didn't put a spring in your step. So what? Literally, "What would be different if what you envisioned happening on Valentine's Day had actually happened?" Now, be honest. "Do you truly know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the masterpiece experience you created would have really happened?" Of course not! Acknowledge what did happen and let go of the "but, if's" so that you can get to the "true that's!"

4. Was your voice heard or did you just assume?  If you find yourself struggling to communicate in your relationship 364 days out of the year, why should Valentine's Day have been any different? The twists and turns in relationships somehow always lead us into funky, dark spaces of believing "He/She can read my mind and know what Valentine's Day means to me!" Hello, Assumptive Silent Partner! If you don't say it, they don't hear it! Enough said!

Article contributed by

Rick Clemons


Rick Clemons, The Gay Man's Life Coach & The Coming Out Coach

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

Rick thrives, working with individuals, and those in their inner circle, as they embark on the journey out of the closet and beyond. He specializes in helping people build confidence, live their passion while loving their work, and live authentically. Authenticity isn't just a word he throws around lightly. It's the backbone of his practice and the manner in which he personnally strives to live each and every day of his own life.

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Location: Riverside, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPC
Specialties: LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Men's Issues, Sexuality
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