Rhonda Cort answered your questions on the YourTango Facebook Takeover at 2pm Dec 8.
By Rhonda Cort — Written on Dec 08, 2011
Yes. It’s a vicious cycle – the hamster wheel or love roller coaster as the industry calls it. It’s why we, unfortunately, end up burned out instead of in love. Frustrated, we throw ourselves into businesses and other things we do to avoid thinking about our love lives. Here are immediate action steps that will put you on the fast track to meet quality men, have a hot date, a long-term relationship or whatever it is you desire.
Step 1: Discover Where You Are On the Dating Ferris Wheel™
Most women are aware of patterns of types of love partners they attract, but are largely unaware of the dating Ferris wheel they’re riding. Take a moment to see where you are. This is the first step to getting free of the whole dating, love and relationship madness (or dry spell you are experiencing). Imagine a Ferris wheel with 4 seats on it (at 3, 6, 9 and 12 o'clock). There really is no beginning and there is no end. If you're dating, you're at one of these points:
THE DATING PHASE
When you start this phase, spirits are high. You're hoping for the best. You're dating online or offline. Perhaps your friends and family are fixing you up. Then things get a bit old. You could likely be serial dating, not having too many second dates. Hopes start to fade, which leads to...
THE DATING FATIGUE PHASE
The string of serial dates continue marking this phase with disillusionment. You start to prefer staying home, going out with your friends or anything else not related to dating. On the more serious end, you could start feeling depressed. Then you hit...
THE BURNOUT PHASE
You don't want to go on dates anymore cause it's just not fun. Your energy is drained and you spend lots of time alone - even rejuvenating, doing your nails, watching movies and staying at home. You take a voluntary (or involuntary) mancation(tm) - a vacation from dating men. This feels good for a while and then you move into...
THE LONGING PHASE
You start feeling lonely and long for passionate sex, deep connection, fun companionship, a date or a long-term relationship. You feel lost. You start thinking that dating isn't so bad after all and the cycle begins again with the DATING PHASE.
Finally, today there is a different choice. You can get off the Ferris wheel, hamster wheel, roller coaster or whatever you call it for good.