Declaration of TWINdependence

By

Declaration of TWINdependence
Identical twins bring a unique set of challenges and amusement to the family dynamic.

Thirty-three years after my identical twin girls were born, I hold these truths to be self-evident...

    No matter how hard you try to make them into individuals, the magnetic pull of twin-ism is always stronger than parent-ism. When my twin girls met each other at a spa weekend for their 25th birthday, one traveled east from NC, the other traveled west from AR and they met within only ten minutes of each other at the spa in Nashville, despite leaving at different times and encountering different traffic snags.  LESSON: Don't fight their urge to come together; you'll lose every time!

    There will always be one dominant twin and one submissive twin, although the relationship may reverse occasionally.  That's why I sent the submissive twin on an outward bound camping trip when she was twelve.  To this day, she says it's the best thing I ever did to foster her independence. LESSON: Make sure each twin gets the opportunity to express her individualism so she doesn't end up following the wrong influence in high school and beyond.

    In a family with three children, the twins will always form a united front against the third child, or their parents, or their grandparents. Like I said, it's a strong bond!  LESSON: Form your own parental united front by agreeing on forms of discipline and permissions.  If they can divide and conquer, they will!

    When they're younger, identical twins usually don't like to do anything the same - dress the same, have the same hair, etc. so their friends can tell them apart.  However, when they get older, they may unintentionally do things in an identical manner.  For example, when one visited the other for the first time in her new home, they discovered that they had purchased the exact same sofa in the exact same fabric from two different furniture chains in two different states.  What are the chances of that happening? LESSON: Sit back and watch the performance; twin antics can be very amusing sometimes!

    They will always watch each others backs.  My twins have been know to swap a license when stopped for speeding, swap a college ID to take a test a second time, and swap clothing to fool a variety of unsuspecting friends.  LESSON: Keep a close eye on possible illicit behavior and help them learn to do the right thing despite the temptation to do otherwise.

    Watching identical twins grow and mature into responsible adults has been an interesting voyage of love and amazement!  I am so glad I was blessed with identical twin girls and an older child who paved the way for them.  

     If you have questions on parenting twins, go to my "Ask Grandma" forum: http://reneeheiss.com/ask_grandma

 

 

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Renee Heiss

Family Coach

Renee Heiss is a wife, mother, grandmother, and retired teacher of high school child development.  She is the co-founder of Entelechy Education, LLC. and the award-winning author of Woody's World, in addition to being an instructor for the Institute of Children's Literature.

Location: Tabernacle, NJ
Credentials: BS
Other Articles/News by Renee Heiss:

The Secret To Family Harmony

By

Your son procrastinates. Your daughter texts too much. Your step-son argues every point with you. Which of those scenarios annoys you most? How do you react? Do you criticize those people, hoping your sarcastic comments will change their behavior? All the criticism in the world won't change another person's behavior. Instead, try using this simple ... Read more

There's nothing "standard" about education!

By

Why are so many parents opting out of standardized testing for their children?  Why are teachers “cheating” on their students’ standardized tests?  Why must every kid in every school in every state learn the exact same content?  I wish I had an answer to those questions because they are burning in the minds of parents, teachers, ... Read more

My Own Trophy Is The Best!

By

Do you appreciate yourself? Surely you are aware of what others have done for you and express appreciation to them for that kindness.  Now think about how you can show appreciation to yourself for your own accomplishments. Do you give yourself little prizes for meeting a goal? Do you reward yourself for a job well done? This is certainly a preferable way ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB