What To Do When He Disappears: 10 Steps To Moving On


Breakup Advice: 10 Steps To Moving On
Here's how to handle the all-too-common disappearing act.

6. Allow yourself one afternoon to be sad. Sometimes, a girl just needs to cry it out! Give yourself an afternoon to feel the emotions and let them go. Have your little pity party, but keep it short! Then put your big girl pants on and carry on.

7. Respect that he isn't perfect. As upsetting as it is to be on the receiving end, try to understand that he is probably doing the best he can. Not all men have the confidence or communication skills to express what's on their minds. I'm not trying to say this is acceptable behavior; it is definitely not! But it helps to put yourself in his shoes and recognize that he has some growing to do.


8. Get closure, if you need to. Once you are sure it's over and you've both had some time to think about things, it would be reasonable to send a short text or email to get closure and wish him well. But be sure to keep it short, one or two lines only. Don't write too much, as he clearly isn't interested in engaging with you. And don't tell him off, as it isn't necessary. He knows what he did. He knows it was rude and he knows you probably feel pretty bad about it. But he doesn't care enough to address it. If you focus on the negative, you'll only create unnecessary drama. Wish him well and be done.

9. Take a break. If you find yourself hoping to run into him in the neighborhood, take a break from the local hangout. If you're hoping he'll see your latest status updates and want you back, take a social media break. Getting him out of your thoughts is integral to moving on, so step away from whatever keeps him in your mind.

10. Learn from it. Look back and see if there were signs that he wasn't happy, signs that there wasn't enough chemistry or signs that he was looking for more. The best thing you can do as you move forward is to fine tune your intuition.

Because the disappearing act is so common, it does get easier to deal with as you gain more dating experience. In time, you'll just roll your eyes and keep moving!

@RebeccaAMarquis is the author of How to Be a Good Boyfriend: 34 ways to keep her from getting annoying, jealous or crazy, and offers dating humor and advice on her new Facebook page: facebook.com/RebeccaAMarquis.

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