Don't be this guy on Valentine's Day.

Eddie and Kristen went to college together and had been dating for a couple of years. They both lived on campus but were heading back to visit Eddie’s family for the weekend to celebrate his dad’s 50th birthday. It happened to be Valentine’s Day weekend, so when Eddie arrived to pick Kristen up, he brought her a gift. It was the newest, trendiest Valentine’s gift, flowers inside a balloon. It was all the craze at the mall. And Kristen loved it. The balloon was clear with white flowers printed on it, and inside were red roses.

But when Kristen got into Eddie’s car for their trip, she was confused. There was another balloon with flowers in the back seat. “I bought that one for my mom,” Eddie said. And his mom’s balloon had “I love you” printed on it. “But her flowers are carnations! Yours are roses! I gave you the roses!”

Now, one could argue that roses are better than carnations, or that an “I love you” balloon is better than one without, and one could always argue that mom trumps girlfriend. But the point of the story is that there would be no arguing had Eddie not given the same present to his girlfriend and mom. It was a nice present, but it didn’t make Kristen feel special.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t Eddie’s only Valentine’s Day fumble.

A couple of years later, Eddie was living back home after college. It was just before Valentine’s Day and Eddie’s mom was taking his sister and her friend to the outlet mall. Eddie joined them so he could buy a Valentine’s Day gift for Kristen.

After splitting with the mom (supposedly), the rest of the group headed over to the lingerie store. As if it wasn’t bad enough that Eddie’s mom would know he was buying Kristen lingerie, Eddie didn’t know Kristen’s bra size. So he said to his sister’s friend, “Kristen is about your size. What size do you wear?” Not only did Eddie buy lingerie in the other girl’s size, he asked her to try it on! And it was completely sheer!

Kristen was upset for weeks about this. And, of course, she made her own trip to the outlet mall to exchange the lingerie for the biggest, boxiest pajamas she could find.

 

This is an excerpt of How to Be a Good Boyfriend: 34 ways to keep her from getting annoying, jealous, or crazy by Rebecca A. Marquis. Read more at amzn.com/145632411X