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You can be successful *and* in a relationship.
By R. Yosef
Last updated on Apr 07, 2024
You've climbed your way to success in your career. You have friends that you love and a fabulous life. You seem to have it all together, but you struggle with one thing. Love. I get it. I used to struggle with that too. I was having a hard time balancing my professional persona with the woman I wanted to be in a relationship. I worked in a male-dominated music industry where to survive you had to be a part of the boys club. So I became a part of the boys' club and channeled my masculine energy. Nothing and no one could get in my way of success, and when I brought that energy into my personal life, it didn’t work.
I found myself failing in two ways: I was either leading the men I was dating and using masculine energy pent up from work or I had a total loss of power because I was exhausted from leading all the time. There was no in-between. I know I'm not the only woman who has had this experience. I know there are other women out there who want to find true love but have to learn how to get out of the way of their success.
Women who avoid these 24 things struggle to find love:
1. Know her value and that she’s worthy of great love
How are you going to find great love if you don't think you're worth a great love?
2. Refuse to compromise who she is while compromising with her partner
You can compromise in a relationship, but you should never compromise yourself.
3. Love her life and live in her vision with or without a partner
You should love your life now, not when you have a partner.
4. Love herself to the core
It's the oldest advice, love yourself before you love someone else, but it works.
5. Understand that there’s power in her femininity, and know when to use her masculinity
Women should bring both their feminine and masculine energies to their relationships.
6. Dance with failure, since that’s where all her lessons are learned
The only way to succeed in life is to fail first.
7. Be able to let go of her past and walk through fear
What happened to you in the past is not a reason to keep you closed off from love.
8. Forgive herself and those who never asked to be forgiven
Forgiving someone who never apologized will help you let go of so many things you never got closure on.
9. Know how to have fun
Stop taking everything so seriously.
10. Expect to be taken seriously, without taking herself too seriously
Don't hold yourself to such high standards.
11. Communicate her needs
People aren't mindreaders, you'll never get what you want if you don't ask for it.
12. Understand that there is no perfect man
Don't hold your partner to such high standards.
13. Know there’s a perfect man for her
While there is no such thing as a perfect person, there is a person perfect for you.
14. See that there's no value in judging others
What's to be gained by being mean?
15. Set healthy boundaries
Know when to say no and stick to your boundaries.
16. Listen to her intuition
Your gut is usually right.
17. Refuse to be defined by things or titles
You're not your job or where you live, you're so much more.
18. Never define a man by his things or titles
Do the same thing to the men you date.
19. Handle herself with grace
It's so classy and refreshing to see a woman who can carry herself gracefully.
20. Know that it’s okay if at times she’s a total mess
No one has it together all the time.
21. Listen to her body
Your body is trying to tell you something is wrong.
22. Permit herself to be vulnerable
This will allow you to open yourself up to love and relationships.
23. Be compassionate with others, but most importantly with herself
Be kind to yourself, no one in your life deserves it more.
24. Choose love
It’s time to cut through the lies and get real about love. You are successful, goal-oriented, and self-motivated, but you are building a life for one. All of this is so much more fulfilling when you find real love and someone to share your success and build your life with. You get to choose who you are today. You get to choose how you show up. You get to choose to be the successful woman who doesn’t settle for anything less than she desires.
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Ravid Yosef is a dating and relationship coach. She is an established advice column writer, Certified NLP Practitioner, and Award-winning marketer.