Optimists ... RUN!
Your cup is half full. You're an optimist. Your reality includes a high belief in self and that translates into how you view the world.
You see people’s strengths and believe in them like you do in yourself because you’re living proof that anything is possible. You know that with determination, a plan, blood, sweat and tears anyone can do anything.
It will take time, maybe even years for you to realize that suddenly your cup is half empty. He's been eating at your optimistic view a bit at a time and it no longer matters how you see the world, because you’ve begun living in his negative reality.
If you want to live a positive life, you must keep an eye out for these warning signs.
Having some of the below feelings and thoughts once in a while is OK — we all experience them — but when you start to recognize that the negative guy you care so much for starts bringing you down with him, it's time to start thinking about moving on:
1. He is a victim of his circumstances.
A victim can’t take responsibility for what’s happening in his life – but he can always point the finger. He feels that someone's done something to him and that’s why he feels stuck where he is. He keeps asking himself (and maybe you), “why does this happen to me?” instead of focusing on how to fix the issue. He's controlled by his past bad experiences and the circumstances that surrounded them.
2. He can only see things in black and white.
I don’t know if you’ve looked outside today, but the world is full of color. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and today I’m wearing purple. The answers to life’s biggest questions are also live and in color.
Everything is not black and white, but to him, everything seems dull and grey. It's right or wrong – happy or sad. There's never any in between.
3. He can't see the positive in anything.
Something amazing happens to him, and he just can't see it. Instead, he'll see the one person who didn't come along, or he'll take note of the lady who didn't enjoy it. He won’t celebrate achievements because there’s always something worse to focus on.
4. He gets overwhelmed even with simple tasks.
Everything is so hard. He can’t deal with more than what’s right in front of him without becoming overwhelmed and it's difficult for him to ee the bigger picture. Long-term relationships with family and friends are a struggle.
5. He lives in uncertainty.
Life with him is like a rollercoaster – one day he's 100% certain about what he wants, and the next, he doesn't know anymore. It’s hard for him to make decisions, and even when he does, he's ambivalent. Resolving an issue is out of the question.
6. He's ruled by fear.
He lives in fear that what happened in his past will happen again or that he'll be a failure to himself or to you. That fear can paralyze him and keep him for taking action in his own life, no matter how much he says he wants to.
7. He doesn't remember being happy.
What is a relationship without the happy times? Not much. The memories you share build the foundation of your relationship, and if one of you can’t remember being happy in them it doesn’t get things off on the right foot.
If you’re constantly trying to make your partner happy, he's likely not happy with himself, and if you recognize these traits in the guy you're dating, it's time to get some help – but you can only help someone who's willing to help themselves.
At some point, you must force yourself to take a step back and look at the big picture. If you see that he's not only made himself miserable, but also brought you down in the trenches with him, it's time to end the relationship. Don’t allow the person you love to empty your cup.
Ravid is a Dating & Relationship Coach who helps clients around the world live a more positive life and regain their power in a toxic relationship. Learn more about her coaching at lovelifetbd.com and contact her here for a free 30 minute clarity call.
This article was originally published at LoveLifeTBD.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.