Build trust through accountability in your relationship.
People have started to use that term in their relationships more frequently. Social media has even filled with memes and quotes using the phrase. Here are some scenarios I've seen this phrase used:
Your partner messed up and they say sorry or they tell you they love you. The reply soon after you might have guessed ... "Show me, don't tell me."
In my opinion, there's a flaw in that statement. For one, how one may show love can be very different than how you want love to be shown to you, but most importantly, it doesn't allow for accountability. Accountability may not sound as sexy, but it does build trust.
If you want to build trust in your relationship you should try saying, "Tell me, then show me". Let's explore:
Tell Me: Words create an intention. You ever heard of "speak it into existence"? Words are at the beginning of every idea and action. If you feel a certain way, or want to take a specific action, start with telling me.
Show Me: Actions confirm that intention. You said you would do something and you did it. You were a person of your word and that shows great character and integrity.
Why is "Show me, don't tell me" flawed? Without creating that intention there's no accountability for what you show. Without accountability, trust is not built. Without trust, your relationship is doomed.
Showing on it's own is okay, but telling and then showing confirms who you are. It confirms that you are a responsible person with integrity who takes action. Doesn't that sound like a the type of person you would want to be with?
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