It's not just advice from your wild-child friend: Rebounding actually does HELP!
Somewhere between calling your ex and deciding that you’ll never love again, it's going to happen. You'll consider it: Should I have a rebound?
For years we’ve believed that a rebound relationship was one bad decision in standard list of bad decisions that you make post-breakup. But unlike eating your weight in ice cream and drinking alone while you watch The Notebook, a rebound relationship may actually be good for you.
If you were to ask your friends or therapist, they would normally tell you to take your time. Heal your heart and get back to dating when you’re ready. In reality, "take your time” has been advised with very little research actually done on the subject, but a recent study has concluded that a rebound may be exactly what you need.
The Journal of Social & Personal Relationships concluded “contrary to what is commonly believed about the need for a 'waiting period' following the end of a relationship ... beginning a new relationship quickly after a breakup seemed to have positive consequences.”
It should be noted that by rebound, they don't mean hooking up. Rebound, within this study, means you are actually dating and entering into a relationship with someone new.
If you are recently out of a relationship, you need to consider a rebound ASAP. Do it for your health!
1. It boosts your confidence.
Going through a breakup can have your confidence take a hit.
This is especially the case when you are the dumpee. If your breakup is dragging you through the mud and you come out on the other side not feeling your best, going out on dates and getting positive affirmation can be just what the doctor ordered.
The study found that those who got into a new relationship quicker had confidence in their desirability and has a higher level of self-esteem. Go ahead and go on that date and let your ego get the boost it needs.
2. You’ll get over your ex even quicker.
You know that moment after a breakup when you’re lying in bed wishing you would stop thinking about this person? When will they get out of your head? When will you stop caring?
The study found that those who got into a rebound relationship were less likely to report having residual feelings or maintaining contact with their ex. Those that stayed single had more unresolved feelings about their past relationship than those who were actively dating.
3. You’ll be more trusting.
Thing they broke your heart and you don’t know if you’ll ever trust again? According to the study, single people were less likely to feel comfortable trusting and relying on others. Their attachment style was significantly more insecure.
Those who were single for a shorter period of time were more likely to report higher levels of trust.
4. You’ll be happier AND healthier.
Breakups are hard. They can be emotionally exhausting and you can find yourself sad for a while.
The study found that those who got into a new relationship had a higher state of wellbeing. Avoidance and anxiety was much lower in that group than among singles. People who began new relationships shortly after the dissolution of a previous relationship appeared to be relatively well adjusted.
All in all, rebounds appear to be beneficial both in the short and long term.
It sounds like it’s time to listen to your crazy friend who suggests that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else!
Ravid Yosef is a Dating & Relationship Coach who works with local clients in Los Angeles and virtually around the world. For more dating advice, a free eBook and tips, visit lovelifetbd.com
This article was originally published at LoveLifeTBD.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.