Look beyond your present pain and see the gifts your ex left in his wake.
I know how difficult the first few days, weeks and months following a major divorce or breakup can be, and how insane it must sound for me to ask you to find a "hidden gift" inside this tragedy. Yet, here I am, pushing you to expand your comfort zone and look beyond your present pain.
Allow me to explain. A few years ago, I was shattered by a breakup with my fiancé, whom I believed was the love of my life. Even though our relationship had been rapidly deteriorating for months, he was financially irresponsible and I suspected he was having an affair, I was still devastated without him.
After our breakup, I began a journey of self-empowerment. I knew I had to take responsibility for my part in the breakup, and without him holding me back, I had all the time in the world. I began the journey, developed my confidence and learned how to stay true to myself. And as I began to blossom into a stronger, more powerful woman, I could finally see the gifts that I had received from my ex, whom I now refer to as "Santa Claus."
1. Curiosity. This breakup ignited a curiosity in me to discover myself and explore my strengths. This lead to my career as a coach, in which I now help other men and women who are going through a breakup or divorce.
2. Confidence. As many of you know, I'm also a professional opera singer. The confidence I developed during this breakup allowed me to fulfill my true potential, and I found my real singing voice after fifteen years of searching. Continue reading ...
More breakup advice from YourTango: