Do women have an agenda?


In my expe­ri­ence most of the rela­tion­ships that fall apart
started with “love” of this sort: blind­ness or the denial of real
rea­sons and agen­das most likely were at work at the time. Just by
look­ing at how rela­tion­ships started one can pretty much pre­dict
how they will end if there were no per­sonal devel­op­ment work
involved i.e., if the aware­ness level has not been raised and each
per­son came to grips with real­ity. Rela­tion­ships that start with
such infat­u­a­tion usu­ally start dis­in­te­grat­ing as soon as the
orig­i­nal needs and motives for start­ing the rela­tion­ship have been
real­ized. The rea­son for “lov­ing” has dis­si­pated and the man
becomes just another annoy­ing per­son with all his pos­i­tive
char­ac­ter­is­tics which were the orig­i­nal rea­son for enter­ing
into a rela­tion­ship with him turn­ing into faults. His being strong
and tough becomes a bully and insen­si­tive, being suc­cess­ful into
“never spend­ing enough time with the fam­ily”, being funny into always
telling crude jokes, etc. This is not to say that men have no part to
play in these dynamics.

Men are equally respon­si­ble because of their resis­tance to
look­ing at the true nature of the rela­tion­ship in the first place,
along with the need to believe the unbe­liev­able – namely, that they
are irre­sistibly lov­able just for being themselves.


The inher­ent rea­son for such auto­matic behav­ior on both sides is
well explained in The Game­less Rela­tion­ship so I’m not going to
repeat it here. Suf­fice it to say that 15,000 years of liv­ing in
sur­vival mode have cre­ated deep roots in our way of think­ing and
deal­ing with real­i­ties, that we most of the time oper­ate on
auto­matic and rarely stop to smell the roses and attempt to be
authen­tic because being authen­tic, although seem­ingly dan­ger­ous at
times, will not sum­mon a saber tooth tiger to threaten our very life.

Rela­tion­ships that start with a healthy atti­tude and gen­uine love – which is often con­fused with “being IN
love” – have a much bet­ter chance of sur­vival. Maybe there is
some­thing to be said in favor of “arranged” mar­riages, but I’ll leave
that sub­ject for future articles.

Love to all,


Article contributed by
Advanced Member


Location: Los Angeles, CA
Specialties: Communication Problems
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