How To Break Through Your Emotional Roadblocks (And Find The Love You Deserve)

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what is tapping
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Learn to trust again.

By Debra Stangl

Tapping is a phenomenal process that has been around for many, many years. Recently, I taught it to an entire group of people and then used it with two participants from the group to help move them through their past issues of “I’m not enough,” and “there’s something wrong with me."

What is tapping? It is the very simple process of tapping with your fingers on different parts of your body. 

Different people will give you different explanations about why tapping works. I believe that it is related to the energetic meridians that flow through our bodies. This knowledge has been used for thousands of years in Chinese medicine. When you tap, stuck energy starts to move.


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The tapping process was developed by an American psychotherapist who had studied acupuncture. He encouraged his patients to tap different acupuncture points with astounding results in alleviating fears and phobias. Tapping has now been used for a variety of different issues, including weight loss, anxiety, depression, and even finding the relationship of your dreams

Many of the problems that most of us experience are the result of limiting beliefs that we continue to hold onto.

When we believe we’re not good enough or there’s something wrong with us, it makes life pretty difficult, whether we’re talking about finding a wonderful relationship, getting a great job or achieving financial abundance.

By identifying the limiting belief and then tapping on the different meridian points, stuck energy can be moved.

There is a short form and a long form of tapping, and I used both with the group. First, I taught the group the short form of tapping, where you tap on the karate chop point (see illustration below) three times each day (morning, noon, and night), saying “I deeply and profoundly love, accept, and respect myself just the way I am,” three times.

Because you’re tapping on a powerful meridian point, that message goes in on a subconscious level.

I then asked the group what were some of the beliefs they had that they thought were holding them back from finding real and lasting love. Scott volunteered and I started asking him questions about his past relationships, which quickly led to him talking about his relationship with his mother and the hurts that were still there from that. When we dug just a little deeper, he finally said the relationship with his mother had left him with a deep wound of “I’m not enough,” and that’s when the tears started.

That's when I knew we had hit pay dirt: the real reason why he wasn’t finding a satisfying, loving relationship.

I asked him to rate how he felt about this on a scale of 0-10, 0 being no hurt, 10 being completely hurt and devasted. He rated it a 9.

We then did the long form of tapping, where he tapped on all the acupuncture points (see illustration above), saying, “Even though I’m not enough, I deeply and profoundly love, accept, and respect myself just the way I am.” As he tapped, I told him how important it was to really feel the feelings as he tapped through all the points:

Here are all of the acupuncture points used in tapping:

  • The karate chop point (the fleshy part of your hand between the start of your wrist and the start of your pinky, as if you are doing a karate chop). For this point only, tap using all the fingers on either hand. It doesn't matter which hand you're tapping with or which hand you're tapping on.
  • Eyebrow. From the end of the eyebrow toward your nose.
  • Eyebrow. In the opposite direction away from the nose.
  • Under the eyes where you feel the bone.
  • Under the nose.
  • The chin where there is a crease.
  • At the collarbone (the knot at the end of the collarbone toward the center of your body – marked on the illustration as the “sore spot”).
  • Heart chakra. On the breastbone in the middle of your chest.
  • Under your arm. Where the bra would be if you wear a bra. Tap on just one side.

As he tapped, you could feel the energy shift, not only with him but also with everyone in the room.

When he finished, I asked him to rate how he felt and he said, “Two.” He said, “It’s kinda weird. I feel like I’m a little high.” The best part is that he said, “I don’t feel angry anymore,” and “I feel OK in my own skin.” That’s the point — when we move through this energy, we feel good.

Another member of the group, Leah, was much more emotional and her limiting belief was: “There’s something wrong with me.” Gosh, if you’re putting out the vibration of “there’s something wrong with me,” the only people you’re going to attract are people you don’t want to attract!

We did the tapping all the way through and as you’ll see in the episode, she moved a lot of emotion. By the end, she was feeling that there’s nothing wrong with her.

It’s amazing what can happen with just a few minutes of doing this work. Energy moves and we come back into feelings of love and acceptance — for ourselves and for others. It’s so powerful!

And the best part is that anyone can learn to do this simply and easily and it works on any issue — work, money, weight, anxiety, and even on finding the relationship of your dreams!


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Debra Stangl is the founder of Sedona Soul Adventures in Sedona, Arizona, which provides custom-designed private retreats for individuals and couples, utilizing over 50 of Sedona’s master practitioners. Debra is also the author of the Amazon International #1 Best Seller, “The Journey To Happy — How Embracing The Concept That Nothing is Wrong Can Transform Your Life.”

Written in partnership with Radical Dating.

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