Without a doubt, getting over an ex that you still love is one of the most excruciatingly painful things to go through.
The reality of your situation is that, life, as you knew it, has come to an end. A breakup is like a death. When a relationship dies, you feel like shit, because you are mourning a loss. The sadness and grief can get overwhelming, and you’ll probably want to curl up in the fetal position for days. The people who care about you will say a lot of things to you that sound nice but don’t really help much in mending your broken heart. Be kind to them. They mean well and will take care of you in this time of need.
The one thing that you should really listen to is this: Everything will be okay!
It will! For real, yo! I promise. I know that you will move on and become stronger, because I have seen countless men and women do it. And I’ve recently done it myself. And I am glad to say I am officially and recently over his sorry ass, but I digress….
The point is: Your relationship is broken, but that doesn’t mean that you are. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, nor does it mean that you are unlovable or incapable of finding another relationship. You are just fine, my dear heart. Too fine, in fact, for the fool who let you get away.
Clearly, this makes your ex stunad—more commonly known as stupid. So what if he or she went to Harvard. Anyone who doesn’t recognize what a prize you are is displaying considerable evidence of stupidity. Failing to appreciate you or not recognizing what was had until it was gone is just plain STUPID.
Now, in fairness, your ex probably has some good traits or you wouldn’t have stayed with him/her as long as you did. Yes, he or she is a human being who deserves love. It just should no longer be from you. Right now. Or ever again.
For now, until your recover from your breakup, I want you to think of your ex as stunad. It’s so beneficial to regard your ex as stupid, because then you’ll stop blaming yourself so much! Don’t get me wrong, two people play a role in the success or failure of a relationship. It is important to realize the mistakes that you made and learn from them, but if you want to get over the one who broke your heart, you need to embrace the notion of his or her stupidity. No putting anyone up on any pedestals allowed!
With this reframe in mind-which may not be a stretch at all-you’ll be able to stop replaying all the last conversations in your head in an effort to figure out what went wrong. Over and over again. It does not matter what went wrong, because remember:
Your ex is stunad, and you are fabulous!
If you are having trouble believing this, I suggest a very helpful activity. Of course you can make a list of all the reasons you are fabulous, but it is much more gratifying to make a list of all the reasons why your ex is stupid. If you were dumped-or forced to do the dumping-by the person you love(d), you should be able to come up with this list.
By the way, I’d love to hear what is on your list! Feel free to send me an email at Rachel@RachelRusso.com or anonymously post the reasons your ex is stunad on this blog! I am in the process of writing an eBook that will help men and women get over their stupid exes, so please get in touch if you’d like to contribute or preorder a copy of my book “ How To Get Over Your Ex Italian-American Style: The Top 10 Cures For Heartbreak” which will launch in January 2012. Follow my blog at www.StatusMakeover.com for updates!
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