Don't Take It Personally


Don't Take It Personally
Cyber dating: Writing that tricky profile could be fun.


I watch way too many romantic comedies. But I love them. The boy always gets the girl, the dialogue is deeply heartfelt and letter perfect and everyone lives in great apartments they obviously can’t afford. I wish I could stop watching them but I can’t. I think I might have a problem.  There is no 12 step program for this, I’ve checked. But if there were, I’d qualify by saying “Hi. My name is, and I’m a romantic comedy addict. I am powerless over the belief that Prince Charming is on his way and probably just got held up in traffic”.
Predictably, I cry at the end of every one of these movies because love has won the day like it’s friggin’ supposed to and that really chokes me up. But as happy and gratified as I am for the fictional characters I have grown to understand and love, in under two hours, the tears I shed are more a product of self pity than altruistic joy. Why, oh why, I ask the universe, isn’t that me falling in love with an irascible yet genuinely adorable man with perpetual five-o’clock shadow and a strong-yet-tender heart? When oh when will my prince come to call? Really, the question I should be asking myself is: Why do I still believe he’s out there?
In real life you don’t see the curve balls coming and you have no clue if you’ll hit a home run or strike out when it’s your turn at bat. You do your best, make your judgment calls and play it as it lays. In real life, you don’t have the luxury of watching it all unfold from the balcony, objective and rational; knowing that if the movie started at 7:00, all will be right with the world by 9:15 at the latest. With a sure thing like that, is it so surprising that I want to dive head first into the celluloid land of happy endings and love everlasting?
If you really think about it, cyber dating is a lot like the movies. You get to sit back, relax and totally immerse yourself in the lives of two-dimensional characters. Who are they, what do they have to say and where will the plot take you when you join their legions? You wonder while taking advantage of the free trial period that suckers you in. What ever happened to plain old fashioned chemistry; meeting men face to face like I did once upon a time in my pre-divorce days? Has it really come to this? You ask trying in vain to make sense of your pathetic love life. Asking these questions is fruitless. It’s like trying to understand infinity or the reason why the piercing roar of a Harley is louder than the human ear was meant to withstand.

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