ProConnect

Dating Resolutions: 7 Qualities Of An Ideal Partner

By

Dating Resolutions
Following these New Year dating resolutions will help you find your ideal partner!
Dr. Lisa Firestone discusses seven characteristics to look for in an ideal romantic relationship.
  1. Maturity
    This statement is not meant to echo the ever-advised mantra that maturity is important. Being “grown up” isn’t merely a matter of not acting like a kid anymore. It’s not about a boyfriend who remembers to take out the trash or a girlfriend who never runs late. These qualities are nice, but to truly grow up means making an active effort to recognize and resolve negative influences from our past. An ideal partner is thus willing to reflect on his or her history and is interested in understanding how old events inform current behaviors.

    When people mature emotionally, they are less likely to re-enact or project past experiences onto their current relationships. They develop a strong sense of independence and autonomy, having differentiated from destructive influences from early in life. As they evolve within themselves, they are less likely to look for someone to compensate for shortcomings and weaknesses or to complete their incompleteness. Instead, they’re looking for someone to share life with as equals and to appreciate independently of themselves. Having broken ties to old identities and patterns, this person is much more available to a romantic partner and the new family that they create together. Naturally, becoming emotionally mature ourselves helps with this process and dramatically improves our chances of achieving a solid and rewarding relationship.

  2. Openness
    The ideal partner is open, undefended and willing to be vulnerable. No human being is perfect, so finding someone who is approachable and receptive to feedback can be a huge asset to a lasting union. When someone is free-thinking and open-minded, it enables them to be forthright in expressing feelings, thoughts, dreams and desires, which allows you to truly know them. Their openness is also an indication of their interest in personal development and often contributes to the development of the relationship. Like perfect people, perfect unions do not exist, so finding someone with whom you can talk about an area that you feel is lacking in your relationship and who is open to evolving is more than half the battle. Conversely, being willing to accept feedback from our partners and looking for that kernel of truth in what they say allows us to develop ourselves in a similar manner.
  3. Honesty & Integrity
This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Lisa Firestone

Author

Dr. Lisa Firestone PhD

Director of Research and Education

The Glendon Association

www.glendon.org

www.psychalive.org

(805) 681-0415 x216

Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression, Family Support, Parenting, Stress Management
Other Articles/News by Dr. Lisa Firestone:

7 Reasons Most People Fear Love

By

Around this time last year, Virgin Mobile USA proclaimed Feb. 13 to be “National Breakup Day.” They did so after conducting a survey in which 59 percent of people said that if they were looking to end their relationship, they would hypothetically do so before Valentine’s Day to save money. The beginning of the year is often said to see a spike ... Read more

Creating Loving Relationships: A Weekend Workshop Retreat

By

Description: This workshop will explore the actions that go into making love last. Participants will learn techniques to identify and challenge the ways they defend themselves and create barriers to genuine intimacy and explore methods to challenge their fear of intimacy. Mindfulness exercises will be practiced throughout the weekend. Open to Individuals ... Read more

It's Not You, It's Me: Turning A Breakup Excuse Into Love Advice

By

Anyone who's done their share of dating has probably been on one side or the other of the, "it's not you, it's me" routine. These five common words, which strive for compassion, in reality just leave our exes confused and puzzling over what went wrong. No one buys this explanation... and why should they? After all, most perpetrators of the ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Friends lunching

Want to Derail Your Relationship? Listen to this Common Advice

Advice from well-meaning friends and family doesn't always help and may even be harmful.

Guy Checking Out Woman At The Market

When Temptation Strikes: Dealing With Attraction to Someone Else

Is natural for human beings to be emotionally or physically attracted to others?

Tips For Re-Entering The Dating Scene After Divorce

10 Tips For Re-Entering The Dating Scene After Divorce

Divorced? It's time for you to get out and meet your match!

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS