8 Ways to Ruin a Relationship

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8 Ways to Ruin a Relationship
Are you ruining your relationship without even realizing it? Read this article and find out!

Nobody likes to not be heard. So there’s no better way to kill a relationship than to stop listening to what your partner has to say.

It shows a lack of respect for the person, and of course your significant other will pick up on the fact that you’re no longer listening. If nobody’s listening, how can a relationship grow or thrive? Especially important is something called active listening, which shows your partner you’re actively engaged in the conversation.

5. Kill the fun.

We hook up together in life for many reasons — shared perspectives and outlooks, physical attraction, shared spirituality, shared professional lives, etc. But we also enjoy one another’s company because it’s fun!

When fun leaves a relationship, it can be a sign that the relationship is heading to the rocks. Fun is a part of life and it’s definitely a part of any healthy relationship. However you and your significant other define fun, it’s important to keep doing it even as your relationship matures.

Love to dance but haven’t been in years? It’s time to make a new dance date. Met while hiking or kayaking, but haven’t made time to do it in months (or years)? Pack the backpack and get your outdoors on.

6. Nitpick.

Boy, am I guilty of this one! I’ve probably nitpicked a few past relationships into an early death. Not because I wanted to, but because it was a personal concern whose impact I never fully understood (until it was too late).

Nobody likes being told what to do, or how to do it. While some people may be more open to “suggestions” than other from their helpful partner, it can also be seen as nitpicking for little good reason.

Really? There’s a “better” way to clean the sink? That’s nice… use it the next time you do it then.

When I want to nitpick nowadays, I just keep in mind that if I want to go to the trouble of offering unrequested advice, I might as well suggest I do it myself. Or just do it next time myself, without having someone needing to ask.

Nitpicking may be a sign of needing to “control” others, but it may also just be a sign of the way some people were brought up. In any case, it’s a bad habit and one you should try and curtail in your relationship.

7. Threaten.

Wow, threatening your significant other is such a turn-on. Yeah, no it’s not. Whether you’re threatening to leave, chop off a bit of anatomy, tell someone’s parents, or find a better life in Maui, it’s never a good sign for a healthy relationship.

Threats are often made in an act of desperation or feeling like a situation is out of control — the threat is an attempt to regain control. However, threats are juvenile and more suited for children’s temper tantrums than an adult, mature relationship.

When a partner resorts to threats, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship’s long-term potential.

8. Ignore your partner.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

John M. Grohol

Psychologist

Dr. John Grohol is a mental health expert and founder of Psych Central. He has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues, and the intersection of technology and psychology since 1992.

Location: Newburyport, MA
Credentials: PsyD
Website: PsychCentral
Other Articles/News by John M. Grohol:

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